Hoshi Ga Hatetemo Kimi Wa Nare Chapter 2 By: thai130898

Two weeks passed since then.

I lay in the bedroom of my shabby apartment, gazing at my phone, lost in thought.

Although we had exchanged LINE contacts, there had been no interaction at all in these two weeks, making me feel like it might have all been a dream. However, the unfamiliar name 'Miyuki' standing out in my friends list (of 5) denied it.

I was a bit hungry, but there was nothing to eat at home. Or rather, since it's a hassle, I've been eating only one meal a day recently. I mostly go to the nearby Matsuya. That's because I can order just using the ticket machine, without having to take off my earphones. It's not so easy at other restaurants.

That's why for me, there was no space more calming than my own home.

It's been like this since I lived with my mom, but I can hardly hear any noise at home. This is despite it being crammed full of various objects, including furniture and appliances.

I've grasped a vague pattern. Things that carry the scent of another person's life tend to become noise. Like library books, or second-hand clothes.

So, home is exceedingly comfortable... come to think of it, it feels like the ideal place to die.

Just then, a LINE banner appeared at the top of my phone's screen. As if to pull me back to the living world from the perilous thoughts I was about to be swallowed by, it seemed I had received a message from 'Miyuki' at just the right time.

"You're free tomorrow, right?"

It was a question that sounded more like a statement.

There was no way a guy who dropped out of high school to become a NEET and even tried to commit suicide would have any plans.

A tiny bit of pride that wanted to be defiant peeked out, but it was just pointless, so I replied normally.

"Obviously."

"10 AM tomorrow, meet me in front of the Gold Clock at Meieki."

"What for?"

After that, no reply came.

***

Nagoya Station. It's the largest terminal station in the Chubu region, serving not only JR and Shinkansen lines but also as a major hub for the municipal subway and three private railways. Below ground, complex passages run about like an ant's nest, and overhead, skyscrapers tall enough to reach the heavens stand vying for dominance.

Furthermore, redevelopment is underway for the opening of the Linear Chuo Shinkansen, and buildings under demolition could be seen here and there.

I was made to walk through the middle of this skyscraper jungle, without even knowing the reason why.

In my ears, wireless earphones. I kept walking, overwriting the noise of the crowds and the ridiculously huge buildings by playing a playlist I made to stream only songs sung by Hahyuu.

Although I knew about the existence of the "Gold Clock," a famous meeting spot at Nagoya Station, I was completely lost in the great labyrinth of a city I was not very familiar with.

The time was already past the promised 10 o'clock. Hoshimiya's LINE, which had been silent for a few minutes, finally devolved into a barrage of irritated stickers. I replied, "I should be on my way," but it was washed away by the flood of stickers. Does this girl even intend to communicate?

Then, as if she had finally lost her patience, a call came from Hoshimiya.

I pressed answer, then immediately tapped the red end button.

"Why'd you hang up?"

A message from Hoshimiya came flying in right after.

"It's too noisy, I can't talk on the phone."

"It should be fine if you have your earphones in, right?"

"It picks up the ambient sound on your end too. Impossible."

"Argh, what a pain. Take pictures of your surroundings and send them. I'll come to you."

As instructed, I sent photos of my front, back, left, and right to Hoshimiya. About ten minutes after receiving the order not to move from there, she appeared.

Her disguise was classic: a small cap, large sunglasses, and a beige urethane mask. Her clothes—a bold, off-the-shoulder black blouse and a short navy skirt—were just as assertive as her headwear, making her stand out exceptionally from the passing crowd.

 

...Wasn't Hoshimiya supposed to be a graceful actress? Her taste in casual clothes is completely different from her image.

She seemed to be rattling something off while pointing her index finger at me, but not a single fragment reached me thanks to the full-blast combination of my canal-type earphones, which were like earplugs, and Hahyuu's voice. I typed "I can't hear anything right now" on LINE and showed her the screen.

Hoshimiya's mouth twitched as if she wanted to say something, but she quickly seemed to give up. She typed something into her phone with a look of annoyance, and a message arrived on my LINE.

"We're getting a taxi."

***

After a taxi ride of just over 30 minutes, it seemed we had arrived at our destination.

"I'll hold onto your earphones. Take them off before you get out."

Reluctantly, I put my earphones in their case, handed them to Hoshimiya, and got out of the taxi.

The moment I got out, what jumped into my view was a gate where a creature resembling a cartoon pig spelled out words of welcome. There was also a beastly smell, like a cattle barn. It was obvious at a glance where we were.

"...The zoo?"

"Yup. Operation: Let's Get Rid of the Noise, Part 1."

Hoshimiya, still wearing her sunglasses, took off only her mask and laughed cheerfully.

"I thought about it a lot, and I figured there might be less noise here."

Hoshimiya walked on as she spoke. Frowning at the sound of the departing taxi and the cacophony from the lively gate designed to excite children, I followed behind her.

"You probably feel noise from artificial things, right?"

Such words came from her dignified figure from behind.

"You said it was noisy enough to make you want to kill yourself in the city, but it didn't seem so bad at the bridge near the abandoned station the other day. So that made me wonder if natural things are okay. Am I wrong?"

"...You're mostly right."

"Thought so. In that case, I wondered how living creatures are, among natural things."

Hoshimiya showed her smartphone to the gate attendant. It seems she had bought an e-ticket online.

As we passed through the gate, there was an American bison right there, making a low sound similar to a snore.

Hoshimiya was surprised by the sudden, deep cry, letting out an "Ooh," but her mouth was curved in an amused smile.

"Ahaha, sounds like a cow."

"Because it is a bovine."

"So, how is it? Tsukishiro. The voice of Mr. Bison-senpai."

I hesitate to describe this fart-like cry as "clear," but it is an undeniable fact that it reached my ears without being covered by a film of noise.

"The bison's voice itself seems fine. I can hear it normally."

I answered, letting out a heavy sigh.

"...For someone who says that, you look pretty worn out, though?"

I gestured behind me with my finger. She turned to look.

There were three sets of a woman in her thirties and a baby in a stroller. The mothers were chatting loudly amongst themselves. They paid no mind, even though one of the babies was wailing.

"The only thing I can hear properly is the bison. Being bathed in that noise from behind, of course I'd get worn out."

"And this is with few people, since it's a weekday, you know? ...Probably."

"Let's just go home. We found out animal voices are fine, so that should be enough."

"What are you talking about? Of course not."

Hoshimiya grabbed the sleeve of my shirt as I tried to leave quickly, stopping me.

"Today is the 'Get Used to Noise' meeting. The plan is to gradually get you used to the noise here while having fun. I think part of the reason you can't stand it is because you've been running away. It's rehab, rehab."

"...Are you serious?"

"I'm serious. I don't lie."

"I saw that the name on the e-ticket was 'Yamada Hanako'."

At my remark, Hoshimiya whistled pointedly.

...She really has a great personality.

In conclusion, the answer didn't change.

The animal cries were clear. However, people's voices and gestures, of course, as well as the various pop-up signs and billboards everywhere, became grating noise, and there was no sign of me ever getting used to it. In fact, my aversion only grew. Like being forced to eat food you hate, which only makes you hate it more.

I was sprawled out on a round table in the park's food court. I was too mentally worn out.

The time was 3 PM. We had avoided the lunchtime rush, so it was a relief that the place was empty.

"I brought ramen for you."

Hoshimiya, having picked up our order, sat down across from me.

I just lifted my palm to convey a 'thanks'.

"Still, it must be really tough for you."

"That's what I've been saying..."

I wanted to tell her to try having a blackboard scratched right next to her ear for several hours.

I raised my head and took the tray with the ramen from Hoshimiya. It was Hoshimiya's treat. She seemed to have ordered a cheeseburger and churros.

It was a simple shoyu ramen with curly Chinese noodles, topped only with green onions and chashu. Without any particular thought, I slurped a mouthful of ramen as if it were just fuel.

At the same time, I was stunned. ...It's delicious.

The moment the noodles entered my mouth, a complex umami danced on my tongue. I'm no culinary expert, so I didn't know what it was, but anyway, a seafood-based umami that seemed to seep deep into my being and the vivid aroma of dried sardines passing through my nose urged me to take the next bite. Why is zoo ramen this good?

I glanced at Hoshimiya. She was munching on her cheeseburger. For some reason, it looked like her brow was furrowed. I wonder if it's not very good.

I thought about bragging about it... but what's the point of telling Hoshimiya my thoughts?

I swallowed the words that had come up to my throat and continued to slurp my ramen.

I felt like the girl next to me was covered in noise for a moment.

***

Around 5 PM, we decided to head home for the day. Hoshimiya had judged that there was nothing more to be gained by wandering the zoo. I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I was finally free from the hell of noise-- but it seemed the world wouldn't allow me such a luxury.

On the way to the gate we had entered that morning, Hoshimiya narrowed her eyes as if looking at something in the distance. She seemed to have found something. In front of the large gibbon enclosure, two small shadows were wriggling.

It was two children. They were wearing matching blue clothes and holding hands. Brothers, maybe. The older one was about five. The younger one... was quite small. Perhaps he had just started walking.

The older brother was visibly anxious, his gaze darting all over the place.

"Are they lost?"

"Looks like it. Let's go."

Leaving me shouting "Huh!?", Hoshimiya headed towards the lost brothers.

I hate kids. They're noisy by nature. If they start crying and screaming, they're practically weapons. I wanted to avoid them as much as possible, but I reluctantly followed her.

Hoshimiya knelt down to be at eye level with the sobbing brothers and spoke to them.

"Hey there, what's wrong? Did you get lost?"

Strangely, her voice was reassuring. It was the voice of a 'big sister' playing her role. The compassionate, soft quality of her voice was so different it was hard to believe she was the same Hoshimiya I had spent the day at the zoo with.

The older brother still didn't say anything, perhaps wary of Hoshimiya. ...The problem was probably her appearance. The sunglasses might be scary. I whispered to Hoshimiya and had her take them off.

"Eh, Hoshimiyu-chan...!?"

The older brother apparently even knew Hoshimiya's nickname. His dark eyes were wide with surprise, but I was just as shocked. Does Hoshimiya's face and name reach even children this young?

Hoshimiya put her index finger to her lips and smiled mischievously.

"Shhh. Right now, I'm on a secret mission. You can't tell anyone. Can you keep a secret?"

"Y-yeah."

"Alright, good boy. Do you know where your mom is?"

"Mommy is... sob, Mommy... is... gone...!!"

He started off speaking clearly, but as if remembering, the end of his words grew faint.

"I-I'm the big brother, so I had to be strong, but..."

Large teardrops began to fall, as if they could no longer be held back.

I determined it was a countdown to a full-blown scream and instinctively braced myself. --And then.

"~♪"

A clear, yet strong and powerful melody of the nation's favorite bread-based hero was sung.

It was a clear singing voice, like a perfectly clear sky, that was in no way inferior to Hahyuu's.

The older brother's tearful face instantly switched to one of surprise.

Her voice quality was one thing, but her rhythm was also perfect. So much so that it gave an unconscious sense of relief.

"You're amazing, big brother. Even when you were scared, you didn't let go of your little brother's hand. You're a splendid hero!!"

"...Really? Like Anpanman?"

"Of course!! You're so brave for stopping your tears. Now, let's go find your mom with me!!"

"O-okay!!"

The older brother's face lit up brightly.

Hoshimiya turned to me, grinned, and gave a thumbs-up.

That innocent smile, so pure it was hard to tell who was older between her and the child, resounded as a soft, single note. It was a clear tone, powerful enough to sweep away all the noise in the area.

Hoshimiya put her sunglasses back on and started to hum thoughtfully.

The older brother, whose hand she was holding, looked up at her and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Okay, right. Looks like your mom is at the lost child center. Big brother, your mom is that way!!"

Hoshimiya's mood changed, and she happily pointed in the direction of the entrance/exit gate. She started to jog in that direction, as if chasing the older brother who had also gotten innocently excited.

While chasing after her, I whispered to Hoshimiya.

"Wait, Hoshimiya. How do you know that?"

"Because I saw it, of course."

"Saw what?"

"The future of the moment this boy arrived at the lost child center."

In that radiant smile, there wasn't a single trace of doubt.

The lost brothers' mother was indeed waiting at the general information center, which also served as the lost child center. Apparently, she had lost sight of them in the instant she bought a drink from a vending machine.

"Thank you so very much," the mother said, bowing her head to us repeatedly.

"No, we're just glad we could return them safely."

Hoshimiya gave a small wave to the brothers. In response, the little older brother shouted in a cheerful voice,

"Thank you!! Hoshimiyu-chan!!"

I thought I heard a thump. The mother and the information center staff had expressions of "Huh?".

...This kid, he dropped a bomb at the very end.

The area around the information center is near the entrance and exit gates. Despite it being past 5 PM, the vicinity was packed with new visitors. If word got out that a great retired actress was here, it would cause a huge panic in an instant.

Hoshimiya gave a strained laugh, "Ah, ahaha," and glanced at the mother, slightly lowering her sunglasses.

"I'm here incognito, so please keep this a secret, okay? Oh, and this boy is my brother from 'Tsubame-en,' so it's not like a romance scandal or anything."

Hoshimiya smiled with a troubled look while pointing at me. Her expression subtly but intensely conveyed the message, 'I'm revealing my identity reluctantly because I have no choice.' If asked with a face like that, no one would be able to refuse. Actresses are amazing.

"Okay!! And now, we'd like to call a special guest to the stage!!"

Suddenly, a voice like that came from the center of the park. It seemed some kind of event was being held on the open stage used for hero shows and the like.

Spurred on by the host's voice, the audience was also shouting "Waaah!" The polyphony of noise, like toddlers banging on instruments at will, made my ears ring.

I instinctively sent Hoshimiya an eye signal that clearly said, "Let's get out of here," looking thoroughly fed up.

She lowered her eyebrows slightly and tried to soothe me with a "there, there" look.

However, that face, perfected with cuteness, froze in the next instant.

"And now we call them!! Aichi's pride, the heroines, the duo 'Sango Juugo!'"

"Ahh!! It's 'Sango Juugo!'! Mommy, let's go, quick!!"

The one who said it excitedly was the formerly lost older brother. He pulled his mother, who gave an apologetic nod, and ran straight towards the stage.

The smile on Hoshimiya's face as she waved to the brothers looked strangely lonely.

***

I was sitting on a bench on the outskirts of the zoo, where there were almost no people.

Next to me, Hoshimiya sat with her legs crossed, sunglasses resting on the brim of her cap, fiddling with her phone.

"Still, what was with that group..."

I really want to say, "You've got to be kidding me."

Even trying to leave after that, I was tormented by the intense noise from the ceaseless stream of visitors, and there was no way I could pass through the gate. As a result, I've ended up hiding on a secluded bench behind some bushes, the kind of place a couple might secretly kiss, as a refuge.

"'Sango Juugo!'"

Hoshimiya murmured in a hard voice while looking at her phone.

"A female comedy duo from Nagoya. They were the runners-up in the recent Manzai Grand Prix. They're beautiful and also active as actresses. ...Looks like they had a talk event planned for today. I didn't notice."

"...Why do you look so displeased too, Hoshimiya?"

"You really don't know anything about me, do you?"

"I was always playing rhythm games rather than watching TV. The most I did was watch documentaries with the sound off and subtitles on."

Hoshimiya let out a pointed 'hah' sigh.

"Well, it doesn't really matter, though."

The sun had already begun to set, and the sky was turning crimson. The zoo is on slightly elevated ground, so from this bench, we had a good view of the Nagoya cityscape swallowing the sun.

Hoshimiya was gazing at that brilliant scenery with listless eyes.

"What's wrong?"

I asked her wavering, ephemeral profile.

"...What?"

"No, you're clearly down. Are you tired from putting on your professional smile for others?"

"Of course not. I can keep that up for 24 hours straight."

That was probably true, but the fact remained that she lacked energy right now. It was as if one of the pillars supporting her very being had cracked and lost its strength.

"...Aichi's Heroine."

Hoshimiya said with self-deprecation, mixing the words with a sigh.

"That title. It was my moniker, until I retired."

"Is that so. Sorry for not knowing."

"That's not what I'm trying to say."

Hoshimiya took a breath. It seemed like she was choosing her words.

"It just feels... so fickle."

What she finally managed to squeeze out was a cold, sentimental voice.

"The entertainment world just keeps renewing itself like this, and each time, everyone moves on to the next new thing. I was acting like a celebrity just now, but I wonder how long they'll remember me."

"..."

"In the end, I'm just one piece of entertainment. Consumed and then finished. I wonder if that lost boy will forget about me someday too... I just kind of felt that way."

It was an unusually pessimistic way of thinking for her.

From when she stopped my suicide to watching her beside me all day today, the image at her core was one of "positivity." The kind that pulls people in and forges straight ahead without looking back.

"If that's the case, then you shouldn't have quit being an actress."

That's why a genuine question tumbled out. After I said it, I realized it was the wrong move.

"...You're right."

Hoshimiya murmured reservedly with a faint smile. She pulled her small cap down as far as it would go, obscuring her expression. Surely, she couldn't be crying.

Out of guilt, I averted my eyes towards the sunset.

It was a landmine, no matter how you looked at it. I don't know why Hoshimiya retired from the entertainment industry, but there must have been some unavoidable circumstances.

Silence flowed between us. The noise of chatter from a distance sounded unusually loud.

Unable to bear the uncomfortable atmosphere, I started a new topic.

"Isn't that hat a little small?"

"...It's my little sister's. It's ridiculous to buy one just for a disguise."

"You have a sister, huh... Hey. By the way, what's 'Tsubame-en'?"

From under the brim of the small cap, sharp, gray, cat-like eyes peeked out.

"You said it earlier. Something about being a 'brother from Tsubame-en'."

"You really don't know anything about me."

Hah, Hoshimiya sighed. She was still lacking her usual energy.

"This is a pretty famous story. That Hoshimiya Miyuki was abandoned by her parents as a child and grew up in a children's home."

"...Ah, ah, now that you mention it, I feel like I've heard that somewhere... or maybe not."

"And the name of the facility I grew up in is 'Tsubame-en'. I left after I debuted as an actress in middle school and started earning money. It wasn't an uncomfortable place, but apparently, they were struggling financially."

I searched for 'Hoshimiya Miyuki Tsubame-en' on my phone. Sure enough, several online articles came up. It was all laid bare, even details about how she continues to donate a portion of her appearance fees.

"...That's right. Now it's my turn. Tell me about your past too."

Hoshimiya pierced me with her ash-colored eyes, peeking out slightly from under the brim of her cap.

"I understand that you chose suicide as a means of salvation because the noise you hear 24/7 is painful. But you said it wasn't just that, didn't you?"

"...Don't say it so lightly."

Malice unintentionally crept into my voice.

I wish she wouldn't summarize this searing agony in a single phrase. This is a much more complex, dark, and indescribable living hell. It is literally beyond imagination. I don't expect her to understand in the slightest, but I don't think it should be taken lightly either.

"I'm not saying it lightly, you know."

However. The sound that came from that girl held a deep ring of truth.

It was like the tip of a treasured sword, without a single blemish.

"Tell me properly. I'm going to listen, every word."

Faced with that sharp resolve pressed to my throat, I opened my mouth as if in resignation.

"...I lost my reason to live."

◇◇◇

I remember that day, it was chilly with fresh snow on the ground.

The pink minicar my mom and I climbed into, complaining about the cold, took time for the warm air to come out even after starting the engine. In the meantime, my mom's favorite slow ballad would play, and she'd hum along, her crystal necklace sparkling. As I watched her profile and soaked in the pleasant chords, my feet would warm up. Only then would the cute, pastel-colored car start moving.

A familiar, everyday scene in winter. Everything was so repetitive it made you yawn, and that day, as usual, I was supposed to be dragged along for grocery shopping at Aeon.

That was supposed to happen.

By the time I saw the truck barreling towards us from the back of the side mirror, it was already too late.

"--Are you awake!? Hang in there!!!!"

When I came to, I was on a stretcher. I could hear the paramedics' voices from somewhere near yet far.

At the same time my dim consciousness began to awaken, a vast amount of information rushed into my five senses.

The light gray sky. The coldness of the snow falling on my cheek. The smell of gasoline, unfitting for the fantastical world of silver. The blaring sirens-- and the searing pain in the right half of my body.

I screamed from the sudden explosion of intense pain. As if in response, the world also let out a shriek.

And then, as I writhed, an unbearable foreign object came into my view.

A large truck with a spiderweb of cracks on its windshield-- and the wreckage of a minicar, crushed to a pulp like a stepped-on fruit.

My throat went dry with a gasp.

Witnessing a tragedy that made me forget even the pain for a moment, my consciousness snapped like a thread.

The next time I awoke, it was in a hospital room.

Two days had passed since the accident. The main surgery was over while I was unconscious, and my right arm's wound was sewn up with thread like a stuffed animal or something. It was apparently what they call an open fracture.

A transparent pack hung overhead, dripping water at a steady rhythm. The sense of unreality made me dizzy and my ears ring. As if to escape all the noise, I stuffed wet tissues into my ears.

"What happened to my mom?"

With a hand trembling full of anxiety, I wrote the question on a piece of drawing paper.

The doctor who came for the examination tilted his head once, then wrote a reply with a look of understanding.

"She was rescued along with you. Go see her after her examinations are done."

The room I was escorted to by a nurse was the ICU-- the Intensive Care Unit. The sight of my mom on the other side of the glass, with countless tubes sprouting from all over her body, was scarier than any crisis I had ever experienced. A sudden, strong noise mixed in, and I couldn't look directly at her.

At that moment, I remembered my mom's favorite phrase.

"They say that crystals have the power to ward off evil spirits, you know."

If that's true, then my mom, who always wore a crystal accessory, must be okay. I told myself that and gripped the necklace the doctor had given me tightly.

From then on, I devoted myself to rehabilitation. I had to get my body back to perfect condition by the time my mom regained consciousness. So I thought, looking forward.

Six months later. My efforts paid off, and my physical abilities recovered to a level where there were almost no hindrances to daily life.

However, all sound was lost from my mom.

In the end, she never woke up once.

--There was no such thing as a miracle.

◇◇◇

Even after I finished speaking, Hoshimiya said nothing. She just silently watched me. The silence between us was trampled by the distant clamor (noise) of the zoo. Feeling the lives unrelated to me swirling around, I once again fell into the sensation of being left behind by the world, all alone.

"My mom died... but, at the very least... I thought I would chase the dream we aimed for together."

Saying that, I took out the crystal necklace from under my shirt. It's my mom's memento.

Its modest yet pure radiance, however, strikes me with a disproportionately violent, deafening sound. And ultimately, it transforms that heart into hatred.

--Why didn't you save me?

"Actually, I was a rhythm gamer aiming to become an pro gamer. You might know it, but there's a rhythm game app you can play on phones and tablets called 'Mobile Paneler.' I couldn't afford to play a lot on the arcade machines that cost 100 yen per play, so that was my specialty."

Mobile Paneler'-- commonly known as MobaPane, is a famous rhythm game that's also been adopted as an eSports title. The songs it features tend to be from subcultures, like anime songs and Dorothy compositions.

To aim for the top in MobaPane, a tablet was essential. I begged my mom to buy one for me. She made excuses about it being a long-term investment and broke into her savings for me. That's why I was able to work so hard.

"At first, it was a way to escape the noise. Rhythm games, where you tap rhythmically, didn't have any noise. But before I knew it, becoming a pro at it had become my dream. So, after I left the hospital, I tried to go back to the world of eSports. ...But it was already no good."

"Because of the gap?"

"No. ...It's a lingering aftereffect."

I rolled up the long sleeve on my right arm. From underneath, a suture scar like a giant centipede appeared.

I heard Hoshimiya gasp.

"Because of the accident, there's a numbness left in my fingertips. In this state, there was no way I could play a rhythm game properly. In a world where one-one hundred twentieths of a second per frame can make a difference, it was a fatal handicap."

I glanced down at my own right arm. The painful surgical scar running straight down it won't disappear, like a curse.

"But the biggest thing was motivation. I wanted to become a pro. So I devoted myself to training without making friends... but I realized it was all for my mom."

My mom, who lost her husband--my father--early on and raised her only son, who was tormented by a strange condition, all by herself. It was because my wonderful mom supported me that I wanted to become a pro gamer quickly and give her an easy life. That's why I practiced like a fool every day.

Every day was filled with a brilliant sound.

When I practiced all night, she would make me ochazuke. Every time I won a match, she would rejoice extravagantly and make my favorite mapo tofu. Even though the name eSports has become more common, how many parents in Japan can so purely support their middle or high school son being so engrossed in games?

But that's all in the past tense now.

There isn't a speck of that former brilliance left in me now.

"I lost everything. It's all gone. Mom is no longer here. Even if I beat my personal best, the person I want to tell first is gone."

The only thing left is the noise of unknown origin that torments me. If that's the case, then I have no attachment to life anymore. Because I no longer have a reason to run through this living hell.

"So. Let's just end it. --That's what I thought."

The evening sun disappears beyond the horizon. From now on, the cityscape of towering buildings will fall into darkness, while artificial lights will begin to glow. As if leaving me, all alone.

Hoshimiya pinched the brim of her cap to hide her eyes. Meanwhile, her lips were pressed into a thin line.

"...Eh?"

Suddenly, Hoshimiya looked up in surprise. She then blinked her round eyes repeatedly.

"What is it?"

"No, it's nothing..."

As she spoke, Hoshimiya didn't stop her suspicious gaze. She was like a pet dog wary of a sudden visitor.

"Well, whatever. Hey, Tsukishiro. You don't have anything to do if you go home now, right?"

"Eh? Well, yeah."

"In that case,"

Hoshimiya put on her sunglasses and stood up from the bench.

"Come over to my place. At least stay for dinner."

***

I was literally slapped awake by Hoshimiya hitting my head. We were in a taxi.

Apparently, I had been fast asleep. I was allowed my earphones to protect myself from the noise of the taxi's engine and the surrounding scenery... and I have no memory of what happened after that. It seems I passed out from exhaustion.

When I checked LINE, I saw a flood of messages: "We're almost there," "Wake up," "Hey, we're here," "Wake up wake up wake up wake up." I scrambled out of the taxi.

I got out and felt a sense of unease. Isn't this the very center of Meieki?

If my memory served me right, we were supposed to be heading to Hoshimiya's house. And yet, about 500 meters down the main street, I could see the JR Central Towers standing in the night's darkness. What was going on? Dropped off in one of Japan's leading office districts... surely she wasn't telling me to go home after all?

"Hey, weren't we going to your place, Hoshimiya?"

"It's right in front of you."

The thing looking down on me in what Hoshimiya called "in front of you" was a fortress-like building with an all-glass facade. It was probably about 30 stories tall. Even in the center of Nagoya, where skyscrapers stand crowded together, it had an exceptional presence. This is Hoshimiya's house? Not her place of employment?

"Did you quit acting and get a part-time job cleaning buildings?"

"It's a condominium, idiot."

An unbelievable message came through, and Hoshimiya pressed an electronic key to the automatic door and went inside. I hurried after her.

The entrance itself was like another world. It wasn't gaudily decorated to the point of hurting your eyes, but the large lobby, made of marble, was composed of a pure white that seemed to permit not a single stain.

Hoshimiya walked straight through the lobby, which resembled that of some high-class hotel, and got into an elevator at the back. Was she so used to it that it wasn't even worth looking around?

Hoshimiya held her electronic key to the elevator panel as well. The button for the 23rd floor lit up, and we ascended in silence. When the doors opened, a strong night breeze brushed against my cheek, asserting that we were at a high altitude.

I took off my earphones for some reason. Rushing to the edge of the elevator hall and looking down, the cars and streetlights had all become inhabitants of a miniature world. Just as I thought, the noise from the ground was clearly on the other side of an invisible wall.

"Ahaha. You look like a newly adopted puppy."

"My bad."

No, it's fine, isn't it? Hoshimiya laughed cheerfully as she entered the code for the digital lock on the corner room's door.

Just as the beeping sound of the lock disengaging was heard, Hoshimiya let out a small "Ah," as if she had noticed something.

"Oh yeah, my little sister lives here too. Be nice to her."

"Oh, right."

I had just heard that Hoshimiya had a younger sister. And that they were abandoned by their parents when they were young. In that case, it's not at all strange for her sister to be living with Hoshimiya, who became independent as an actress.

"Well, she has her days and nights mixed up and is a shut-in in her room, so I doubt you'll see her much. If you do run into her, try not to agitate her."

"Eh? No, no, wait. If that's the case, you shouldn't have let me in your house. I'm going home."

"...It's fine. Though I can't say for sure what will happen."

Hoshimiya said meaningfully, and opened the front door.

A gentle, flower-like scent drifted faintly on the breeze. It had been a long time since I'd entered someone else's home.

I took off my shoes, walked down the well-cleaned hallway, and entered the living room. Sofas were arranged around a large, wall-mounted LCD TV, and a large, wall-to-wall window offered an open, panoramic view of the Nagoya cityscape, like a sky full of stars. The room's lighting was subdued, as if not to obstruct the view, which in turn created an indescribable, celestial atmosphere.

Hoshimiya stood at the counter kitchen, slipping her arms into a milky-white apron.

"So, what do you think of the great actress's room?"

"It's a relief there's no noise."

"...Eh. Is that your only comment? Well, I suppose that in itself is interesting."

"I wonder why. Is it because there isn't much stuff? Or maybe the 'home of the great actress' is such an unexplored region that it's treated as a product of nature."

"Ahaha, go ahead and recommend it as a World Heritage Site. Anyway, I'm going to whip up dinner real quick, so you can just lie around over there."

Hoshimiya said in a singing tone, tossing a can of juice she took from the fridge.

"Eh, hey, wait!!"

I tried to catch it with my right hand instinctively, but I missed. The can slipped from my palm, hit the flooring, and made a hard thud.

"Hey, what are you doing? ...Oh man, now the floor's a little dented."

"H-how should I know? I told you my fingertips are numb. Don't throw things at me."

Half impatient and half angry, I picked up the rolling can of juice.

"Ugh, and what's this, tomato juice? I don't want it."

"Huh? Do you know how much this stuff helps me? It's full of nutrients, you know?"

Muttering, Hoshimiya stood at the kitchen sink washing her hands.

Next, she efficiently proceeded with cooking, cutting and stir-frying some mushroom-like objects. I used to make simple dinners on days when my mom was at work, but it was no comparison. Hoshimiya's skill was clearly that of someone who regularly enjoys cooking.

Surprising... or maybe not. Considering the motherly, caring nature that seeps from her every action, it doesn't seem strange that she would be able to cook.

For a moment, a rosy fantasy materialized at the situation of the nation's most beautiful girl standing in the kitchen for my sake, but I quickly shook my head to dispel it.

A little while later, the food seemed to be ready, and Hoshimiya came over with a tray.

"Here you go, sorry for the wait. I call it: Matsutake Paradise."

Naming sense aside, what was brought over with an appetizing, savory aroma was a splendid set meal.

"...Hey, wait a minute, matsutake!? You mean, that matsutake!? All of this!?"

Starting with matsutake rice (cooked in an earthenware pot) that looked like it had thoroughly absorbed the dashi, then matsutake soup, foil-grilled matsutake, and even steamed matsutake in a teapot. It was truly a matsutake feast. How many matsutake mushrooms did she use for just one person's portion?

No matter that Hoshimiya was a former top actress, this level of extravagance was over the top.

"It's not like I eat like this all the time. I just happened to have bought them. Conversely, wouldn't it be gross to eat this every day? Anyone who does that definitely has a bad personality."

With a cheerful smile that contradicted her sharp tongue, Hoshimiya brought her own tray as well. She sat down at the table and put her hands together in thanks, and I followed suit.

My eyes darted around, wondering which dish to start with, as I reached out with my chopsticks.

***

Hoshimiya's home cooking was so outstanding that it blew away the proverb, "matsutake for aroma, shimeji for taste."

Of course, the quality of the matsutake must have played a part, but even so, her cooking skill in bringing out the full aroma and flavor of the luxury ingredient was nothing short of admirable.

"Thank you for the meal."

"Was it good?"

But for some reason, I hesitated to put it into words honestly.

"I was surprised."

"What's that supposed to mean? So vague."

Hoshimiya stood up with a wry smile and started clearing the dishes. When I offered to at least do the washing, she refused, saying she didn't want her kitchen messed up, so I helped clear the table instead.

"More importantly, Tsukishiro. There's something I want to talk to you about."

Hoshimiya murmured as she arranged the lightly rinsed bowls in the built-in dishwasher.

"What is it, so serious all of a sudden?"

Is it the plan for the next operation? Hoshimiya probably isn't thinking about getting me used to the noise anymore. In that case, has she come up with a way to seriously make the noise disappear?

I built up a fantasy centered around myself-- only for it to be smashed to smithereens.

"You, move into this house."

Silence fell.

Only the sound of Hoshimiya using the faucet drifted through the room.

"...Did I mishear you?"

"Of course not."

"I wish I had."

"Isn't this the part where you're supposed to be happy? A proposal to live together from the one and only Hoshimiya Miyuki?"

"I respectfully decline."

At my refusal, Hoshimiya frowned in dissatisfaction.

"Because it's weird, isn't it? I don't know what you're thinking, but calm down and think about it for a second."

"I'm well aware that it's weird. On top of that, I'm asking if you'll accept or not."

"Absolutely not."

It's not that I'm dismissing Hoshimiya's proposal as worthless. On the contrary, living under the same roof as one of Japan's most beautiful girls has its anxieties, but as a guy, it's also exciting.

That's why it's no good.

What if, from now on, I spent not-so-bad days in this place, and after the promised nine months, I was placated into not wanting to die? In this grotesque world still full of noise, in this place where my reason for living has been stolen, what if I couldn't even choose to die? --Just imagining it sends a chill down my spine.

Being satisfied is the most frightening thing of all.

If I could become numb to this pain and just laugh it off-- I wouldn't be human anymore.

"...Well, if you're going to refuse, I can't help it. I can't force you."

Hoshimiya turned the lever to stop the water. After drying her hands with a towel hanging on the cabinet door,

"Well then, pay for dinner."

At the small palm held out so calmly, I felt as if I'd been pushed off a cliff.

"I never said I'd feed you for free, did I? It was pretty expensive, so pay for your share."

"...H-how much is it?"

When I asked fearfully, Hoshimiya replied with a terrifyingly cheerful smile,

"It's the first of the season, so about 50,000 yen."

"Th-that much, I can somehow manage..."

"Per mushroom. I think I used about fifteen."

"Ah, impossible."

This time, the ground really did crumble beneath me. It's over.

"Now, now. This is only if you refuse my offer, customer."

Her abnormally perfect face twisted into a villainous smile, like that of an emperor.

"Live here. If you don't want to, you can pay me back for the matsutake you just ate, every last yen."

"You... you'd make a good con artist..."

"Well, I have played one before."

Hoshimiya cackled. This was no laughing matter at all.

"Besides, why do you want me to live here so badly? You have a shut-in sister, right? I'd be more than a nuisance, I'd be poison."

"Because there's an advantage, of course. Even poison can be medicine depending on how you use it."

That clear voice didn't sound like it was lying.

I had no idea what merit she could possibly gain from living with me, a practical stranger, but at the very least, she seemed certain of it.

"Thinking about money, there's a merit for you too, right? Moving would get complicated, so just keep paying your rent, say you'll be gone for a long time, and have all your utilities shut off. If you live here, I'll even provide three meals a day. Won't you save tens of thousands a month just from that?"

That... was certainly a benefit I hadn't considered.

Now that she mentioned it, the Tsukishiro family bank account didn't have much cash left. We were a poor single-mother household to begin with, and the half-year of fighting illness and the loss of income had mercilessly stripped away our savings. I hadn't been conscious of it, but at this rate, it might even be difficult to just survive for the remaining nine months.

It was a timely offer.

There were many incomprehensible points, but perhaps it wouldn't be too late to think about them after the financial problem was solved.

"By the way, Hoshimiya, I might not even be able to pay nine months' worth of rent."

"...Eh, don't you have a total lack of planning?"

"It's because you stopped me from killing myself that I have to think about money for living, isn't it?"

"Pay your rent with a part-time job, at least. Don't be a baby."

"...I'm not doing any housework."

"If anything, I'd rather you not touch things in my house as you please."

"It's impossible to live without touching anything in the house."

"I'll give you a room. Basically, just stay rolling around in there."

With every word, practical topics came up. The details were solidifying. It was as if I was being guided.

After talking for another ten or twenty minutes, the general rules were set.

Meals: Hoshimiya would cook when she cooks, but basically I'd eat stocked retort pouches and the like. Cleaning: Leave it to the Roomba. Necessities: Buy them myself. Also, I was to use nearby facilities for bathing and laundry. And so on.

After discussing what needed to be decided, I was finally released from Hoshimiya's home.

As I left the condominium's entrance, I happened to look up at the floor where Hoshimiya lived. The glass-walled surface reflected the bewitching city lights twinkling in the night's darkness, making it impossible to see inside. That sight made me think of a wall between me and a world beyond my reach.

But. That was just an illusion. The girl inside the shell of a "great actress" was just a normal girl who was a bit headstrong, a good cook, and would even tell lies.

Suddenly, I noticed something was off.

There was no noise.

The existence of the "tower condominium" wasn't making any noise. The hard sound of glass, the sound supporting the heavens, the soundless sound standing in the darkness-- I could recognize them as "separate sounds."

Almost unconsciously, I looked around at the surrounding high-rise buildings.

Instantly, a grating, shrill sound, both detestable and familiar, rang out.

"...What was that?"

Anyway, I immediately put on my earphones and fled home.

***

The next day. It was past noon when I woke up on the hard floor of my house.

I didn't feel bad waking up. My head was unusually clear. It seems I had slept soundly.

Ever since that accident, I hadn't had a single decent night's sleep. It had become a habit to be jolted awake by terrifyingly realistic nightmares of the moment of impact or something similar.

Could it be that I'm finally starting to get over the trauma?

As I thought that, another conclusion overwrote it.

This must be because I've given up. A major accident that separates life and death, a despair that seems impossible in this world—once you've resolved to let go of your life, it's all on the other side of a screen.

I slowly stood up. My lower back and the nape of my neck were completely stiff, with a dull ache clinging to them. After twisting my body to crack my joints, I moved on to preparing to move. That said, I just got my phone and charger, wallet, earphones, and a change of clothes, and it was done in 20 seconds. My belongings were hardly different from yesterday.

Again, I collapsed in the middle of the room.

I traced the faded wood grain pattern of the shabby apartment with my eyes for no reason.

In that way, as if to melt away the excess time, I burned every detail of the small room into my memory.

The pillar scarred with marks of growth. The fusuma full of holes covered up with stickers. The grease stains in the kitchen, the rusted stove. I gazed at it all as if re-experiencing the life that had seeped into this place.

I finally got up when the sun began to set and the room was filled with warm colors.

Holding my packed bag, I put on my shoes in the sandy entryway and looked back at the room one more time.

The 2LDK apartment, for which I'd already prepared for the end, felt unusually spacious without any furniture or appliances.

Once, another person lived here. It wasn't exactly a home full of laughter-- but it was still a warm space enveloped in a mundane tone (happiness). I was supposed to be chasing a dream in this small room, wishing for that to continue.

"I'm leaving this house today. I might not ever come back."

Even when I said it, no one answered.

I wish even a zashiki-warashi would have laughed for me.

"...Time to go."

I put my earphones in my ears. Erecting a defensive wall of incredibly clear sound, I went out into the crimson-dyed evening.

***

"...You're late."

In the end, I arrived at Hoshimiya's house around 10 o'clock at night.

It was because my feet were hesitant to step back into a world disconnected from my life so far, and using that as an excuse, I had stopped at Matsuya to fill my stomach. I absolutely was not lost.

"I thought you'd broken your promise and run away."

"Like I'd do that. If I pay rent two or three times, I'll be penniless. I checked yesterday."

"Don't say it so proudly. Well, your room is this way."

I was shown to a Western-style room of about six mats, just to the right of the entrance. The floor was flawless hardwood, like amber. It was a world of difference from the Tsukishiro house, which looked like it was on the verge of being demolished.

"Anyway, is that all your luggage?"

Hoshimiya looked at my light luggage, which was about the size of an overnight bag, with an expression of disbelief.

"Leave me alone. I'm just your average commoner."

"Well, you don't even know the price of matsutake. You certainly are a commoner."

"Shut up. They have market prices and stuff, right? Only the person who bought them would know."

"Well. I'll treat you to something delicious again sometime, my dear plebeian."

My resistance, born from my petty pride, was snorted at by Hoshimiya. She gave a mischievous smile, waved her hand airily, and disappeared into what was probably her own room.

I was left alone in the room. For now, I guess I'll build my own castle.

I laid a towel on the floor near an outlet, set my bag as a substitute pillow. Set up the charger. Done.

...It looks like I'll need to buy a few more things. It's still hot now, but the sound of winter's footsteps will be here soon. Without any heating equipment or a futon, it wouldn't be strange if my cause of death was freezing.

I thought about looking for a part-time job, sliding my finger across my phone while wrapped in a flimsy towel.

As expected, it's not easy to find a part-time job that forgoes communication with others. The work available to someone who wears earphones and makes no attempt to hear others would be limited.

In that case, would it mainly be piecework from home?

"...Hah."

I turned off my phone screen.

I don't really want to do a work-from-home job.

Of course, I'm used to working silently by myself. The rhythm games I was once passionate about are a prime example. But that was because there was a goal and a sense of accomplishment. That's why I'm just not interested in work-from-home jobs that basically involve repeating the same task over and over.

I'll use the restroom and go to sleep. Thinking that, I went out into the hallway. I hadn't been told where the toilet was, but it's probably next to the entrance. With that rough guess, I opened the door across the hall.

No, "I tried to open it," is more correct.

Because the door opened on its own before I could put my hand on the knob.

It seems it wasn't the toilet. From the crack in the door, a sweet smell like baby powder drifted out on a sound like a computer's exhaust fan.

"... ...?"

At the same time, a girl appeared.

The girl, more than a head shorter than me, looked up with bewildered eyes.

She was a beautiful girl.

Golden hair with a loose wave extended down to her waist. She wore an oversized sweatshirt like a dress, and the delicate nape of her neck peeking from the collar evoked a sense of pathos.

What was most surprising were her translucent, lapis lazuli-colored eyes. Hoshimiya's appearance was quite un-Japanese as well, but this girl was in another league. Her artistic and fantastical beauty, as if a French doll had come to life with its own will, was so much so that it went beyond admiration and even inspired fear.

"...Are you Hoshimiya's sister? I think you've heard, but starting today I'm-- gwahhh!?"

As I tried to greet her, the girl, with a look of intense panic on her lovely face, quickly sprayed insecticide at me. Ignoring me as I fell backward from the sudden preemptive strike, she retreated behind the door like a poked hermit crab.

"B-bitter!? What's with her!! Gross, ugh!!!!"

I got on all fours and gagged. Immediately after, Hoshimiya rushed out, asking, "What's going on!?"

"S-some doll-like girl treated me like a cockroach..."

"Ah... so that's it. She must have been startled to suddenly meet you."

Hoshimiya put her hand to her forehead as if to say, "Oh no."

"That's my little sister. Her name is Rukina. She's a third-year middle schooler who's a shut-in with anthropophobia. But she's not a bad kid, so please be patient with her."

"Patient, my ass... she hit me with insecticide three seconds into our meeting. How am I supposed to talk to her?"

"...I don't know about that either."

Hoshimiya glanced at the room where the girl named Rukina was holed up with melancholic eyes, and then said,

"Go wash your face. ...Let's have some coffee and talk."

***

"--Sorry. I did explain things to her, but..."

Hoshimiya said softly on the balcony, where the fragrant aroma of drip coffee was wafting.

To prevent any chance of the girl named Rukina overhearing our conversation, we ended up sitting around a table on the balcony, separated from the room by a large window.

The twinkling neon of the distant downtown area and the city lights were indescribably fantastical.

"That girl, she was bullied. Rukina doesn't look Japanese at first glance, right?"

"Yeah. It doesn't look like she has a single drop of Asian blood in her. ...I don't know if I should ask this, but are you two really sisters?"

"We're sisters. Just with different fathers."

Hoshimiya closed her eyes and quietly sipped her coffee. From her tone of voice, not a hint of tragedy could be felt.

Rather, the way she closed her eyes to savor the aroma was captivatingly beautiful.

"Different fathers, huh..."

"Yup. Sisters with different fathers. Our mother was the type to abandon two small children at an orphanage, so she was probably sloppy in many ways. My biological father is Japanese. That girl's is some man from a distant foreign country. But that's all. It has nothing to do with me."

If anything, being of mixed heritage must have been a great weapon for Hoshimiya. Of course, her acting and speaking skills can't be ignored, but the biggest factor in her success was undoubtedly her beauty.

"But it was different for her."

"Why was she bullied?"

"Children are cruel. They exclude anything that's different. Without any particular sense of guilt. As if to say it's only natural, they even feel a sort of obligation to strike down anything that stands out."

I was starting to get the picture.

In other words, Rukina was likely ostracized by her classmates because of her all-too-distinctive appearance.

"It would have been better if she had a personality like mine that could fight back, but she's a quiet girl. To those little shits, she was nothing more than a good toy."

Hoshimiya placed her coffee cup on its saucer. For some reason, the sound was a little sharp.

"And then an incident happened. In middle school, a certain upperclassman took notice of her. A rumor had spread that there was a cute, but quiet and bullied girl. ...And so that guy approached Rukina. Acting kind, expecting her to become dependent on him."

It was a disgusting story.

"He was only after her face and body. For Rukina, who had found a small salvation in that guy, finding that out drove her to despair. So she shut herself away. That was about two years ago. Since then, she hasn't spoken to anyone but me. Lately, she can't let go of her tranquilizers either. She says he still appears in her dreams."

"...Then why did you let me into your house?"

It was a huge question. She dodged it yesterday, but bringing a strange man into a home with a girl who has anthropophobia is just not sane.

"...I saw it. A future where she goes outside."

Hoshimiya suddenly glanced at the brilliantly shining night view. I wondered just how many futures the jewel-like light overflowing in her eyes had reflected.

"...I didn't really want to say this, but."

"What is it?"

"How do you think I stopped your suicide?"

It's a simple story. If she saw the scene of the suicide with her future sight, she would just have to grasp the time and place and go interfere. For example, at the bridge near the abandoned station, she suddenly kissed me and made my mind go blank--

"...Huh?"

That's right. It's strange. That wasn't an action she could be certain would stop a suicide.

And yet, she has absolute faith in her power of future sight. She was confident that even if I tried to commit suicide, she could definitely stop me. --That's probably because.

"Could it be, you did it, many times...?"

"Yup. I kept re-doing the future sight over and over. Until I saw a future where the suicide fails."

It was a light voice, as if it were nothing. Her profile was chilling. A cold sweat ran down my back at the realization that this girl had been messing with the gears of my fate as she pleased.

"Your suicide. While I was on my way in the taxi, I tried various things."

From her small, girlish fist, fingers bloomed open one by one.

"First, I tried to stop you by talking. But that didn't work. I tried hugging you, but you shook me off. Next, I tried hitting you. I tried throwing a rock. I tried kissing you. --And then, you didn't die."

Depending on her actions, the future changes. She sees the changed future, and if it's not the desired result, she changes her planned actions again. It's a cycle. She peeked at (cheated on) the results of her actions to stop my suicide by any means necessary, and once she caught a future where the suicide failed, she just had to put it into practice.

That's why she can stop it.

With absolute confidence, like a god, she can create the path to the future she desires.

"...So I was in the palm of your hand."

This is a joke. To think my fate was already being manipulated behind my back.

"Stopping a suicide" and "guiding towards a future where one doesn't commit suicide" are completely different things. The latter carries a lukewarm terror, like having your heart gripped in a vise.

"Hey, just because you heard this, don't go finding a loophole and killing yourself before the nine months are up, okay?"

"...You're the one who knows best how difficult that is."

"Well, yeah," Hoshimiya said, taking a sip of coffee. Her gesture, full of composure, was as serene as an adult indulging a child's game.

"...Don't you think something's strange?"

That's why this question from Hoshimiya seemed terribly unsettling.

"Nothing comes to mind."

"It's about Rukina."

Hoshimiya turned her crystal-like eyes towards me. But strangely, I didn't feel like I was being looked at.

"Why my sister is a shut-in when I, who can redo the future as I please, am here... that's what."

Now that she mentioned it, it was a strange story.

A girl who would stop a random high schooler's suicide and even let him live in her house. A girl who, upon seeing a lost child at the zoo, would immediately go to talk to them, knowing the risk of her identity being revealed.

There's no way she would just stand by and watch the current situation of her only blood relative.

"Of course, I tried countless times to see how Rukina could reintegrate into society. But it was all useless. No matter what I did, even with some drastic measures, her wounds wouldn't heal."

The words were spoken fluently, yet her voice wavered with anxiety.

"But, with you... it was different. Frustratingly so."

Finally, I felt like we had made eye contact for the first time.

But her glass-like eyes were mixed with a sound resembling both hostility and jealousy.

"When I heard about your situation at the zoo. I thought maybe I could help a little if I let you stay at my place. So, I took a look at Rukina's future in the timeline where we lived together. If she were to suffer because of it, such a thought would be out of the question."

"Well, that's a given."

"I was surprised. When I 'chose' the action of inviting you to my house, I saw a future where Rukina was talking to someone. She was timid, but she was bowing her head to thank them or something, behaving like a normal person."

Me, being the starting point for the girl named Rukina's reintegration into society.

I felt a blood-chilling anxiety at such an unfitting role.

"...What am I supposed to do?"

"I told you yesterday, I don't know."

Hoshimiya took another sip of her coffee.

"My future sight, you see, isn't all-powerful. Once I see someone's future at a certain point in time, I can't see their future at any other time until that point has passed."

"...Um?"

"For example, let's say I see a future where you eat curry tomorrow at 12 o'clock. That means I can't see any other future until it's 12 o'clock tomorrow. Whether you eat curry, or you end up skipping lunch because I hid the curry, I can see that change, but I can't see anything else."

Hoshimiya paused, looked at me as if to confirm I understood properly, and continued.

"Conversely, even if it's not 12 o'clock tomorrow, I can see someone else's future-- for example, that lost boy's. What I can't see is only 'your' 'future at a time other than 12 o'clock tomorrow'."

"...I see."

In that case, it's understandable that it's impossible to follow what happens until Rukina reintegrates into society with future sight. What she can see is only the "result" at that specific time.

"Well, that's why, I don't know what you'll do, but you don't need to live your life consciously thinking you have to do something. As long as the future I saw exists, it won't change the fact that Rukina will grow."

"...No, wait. Hold on."

There's a hole in that logic. It's flawed from the premise.

"Isn't the future something that can change with the slightest trigger? Maybe Rukina was reintegrating into society at the point you saw the future, but couldn't it change to another future before that time comes?"

No, rather, I should think it will change. A single will of Hoshimiya's can overturn even a person's life and death. I don't know how far in the future the "Rukina's future" she saw is, but wouldn't the result be swayed at least somewhat by the trivial events that occur before reaching it?

"No, you can also lock in the future."

But Hoshimiya said it as if it were nothing, like a character from a manga.

"If you tell the person themselves about the future you saw, no matter what happens, that future won't change. ...Interesting, isn't it? That's why I've already told Rukina about this. She made a sour face, though."

Laughing cheerfully, Hoshimiya drained her coffee cup as if chugging it.

"...For all that, the insecticide earlier was quite a greeting."

Thinking about it, that's pretty terrible. The fact that I'd be living with her. That I'd be the starting point for her reintegration into society. Apparently, she knew all that and still went with the insecticide attack.

"It's correct to have it for self-defense, right? You never know what might happen."

"I'm not gonna do anything... Anyway, how do you manage to grasp such detailed conditions?"

"Of course I'd test various things. It's not like I can Google it. I've looked at the future five minutes from now so many times, I've tried every possible pattern."

"Are you a debugger?"

I drained my coffee too. It had become completely lukewarm.

I noticed something.

I remembered the bridge in front of the abandoned station, Nagoya Station, the zoo... every place Hoshimiya and I went together. In all of them, Hoshimiya was wearing a small, monochrome cap that belonged to her sister.

She, who has the power to see the owner's future by touching them.

That hat, which belongs to her shut-in sister.

I felt a damp sense of inferiority and got just a little irritated.

"Where are you going?"

Hoshimiya asked coolly as I abruptly stood up from my seat.

"To sleep."

"Okay. Well, I'll drag you out again if I think of something."

Hoshimiya was gazing at the Nagoya cityscape that never slept.

It was a beautiful profile, so much so that it seemed it might melt away and disappear.

With her words at my back, I left the balcony. I entered my room and threw myself onto the towel.

In less than five minutes, my consciousness sank to the bottom of darkness.

September 17th (Sun) I decided to start keeping a diary with an app today. If I'm going to be kept alive for nine months because of Hoshimiya, I'll die of boredom if I don't have at least one thing to do. Maybe I'll keep an observation diary of Hoshimiya. Like a free research project. If I spend my days looking for things to write in my diary, it might help kill some time. Also, I bought a full futon set on Mercari. It's a relief I got it cheap.

September 21st (Thu) Hoshimiya was gone for about three hours from 1 PM. Looks like she went out. I don't know where, but being an unemployed person with money is invincible. I realized at dinner, but they only had mild retort curry. I prefer spicy, so I put in a request.

September 25th (Mon) I was taken to a photo exhibition today. The idea was that if I can't hear noise from natural objects, what about photos that capture them. The venue itself was quiet, but I heard unpleasant sounds from the lights and passages. The crucial photos, just as Hoshimiya planned, had no noise.

October 2nd (Mon) I finally found a part-time job. It's a ramen shop nearby. Since explaining the noise symptom would be complicated, I told them I couldn't hear, and they hired me. It seems I can work without issue if I hide my earphones with my hair. My duties are dishwashing and cleaning the kitchen, and they'll apparently arrange it so I don't need to communicate. I'm grateful.

October 5th (Thu) First day of work. I forgot the rubber boots they told me to buy beforehand. A huge failure on the first day. Also, the water in the sink for soaking dishes was too hot. Apparently it's 50 degrees Celsius. But they say it has to be that hot to get the grease off the dishes easily. Part-time jobs are tough.

Three weeks have passed since I moved into Hoshimiya's house.

The harsh late summer heat has subsided, but in its place, the mornings and evenings have become quite chilly.

Hoshimiya seems to be thinking of various ways to eliminate the noise, but it looks like she's having a tough time.

Of course. So far, countless doctors have given up on me, and I've even been sent to consult with spiritual figures, but none of it had any effect at all.

Today too, the day ended without incident. After washing myself at the nearby public bath and collecting my laundry from the laundromat, I passed through the glass doors of the out-of-place luxury tower condominium and held up my electronic key.

No matter when I look, the entrance is poisonously clean. Not a single grain of sand is lying around, and the marble of the floor and walls is polished like a mirror. The elevator floor has a carpet-like mat, and the 23rd-floor elevator hall also seems free of rust stains. There must be a cleaning staff.

I'm still not used to living in such an otherworldly residence. I'm starting to think this isn't Japan anymore. Isn't this Dubai or some other wealthy country?

Thinking such unproductive thoughts, I opened the front door.

"....Oh."

On the other side of the door stood a foreign-looking girl.

Long, flowing golden hair. Deep, sea-blue eyes. It was Hoshimiya's sister, Rukina. The moment she seemed to recognize me, her jewel-like eyes wavered and, in the blink of an eye, were colored with fear.

"W-wait!!"

I took off my earphones and immediately explained myself.

She hid behind her room's door, wary like a cat. Her gesture was surrounded by noise like a sandstorm. The 'zaa zaa' sound hurt my eardrums, but this wasn't the time to be complaining about that.

"I won't do anything to you!! Because, uh, that... um... well..."

My brain went into overdrive trying to avoid the violation of my human rights by insecticide spray, but no good idea came to mind. At this rate, I'd once again be bathed in the wisdom of humanity as a target for extermination-- just as my short-circuiting brain feared,

"--The other day. I'm sorry."

The words that came from her anxiously wavering eyes were unexpected.

If it weren't for the noise enveloping her, her voice would surely be lovely.

"I was just. Scared. ...I'm sorry."

"N-no, it's totally fine."

Nothing was fine, but I played along for the time being. For her, with her anthropophobia, to apologize, she must have mustered a lot of courage.

I took off my shoes and proceeded down the hall-- and in that moment.

With a scream-like voice (noise), Rukina shut herself in her room.

...This is a problem that comes before getting along or not.

Not only that, but if we run into each other head-on again, there's a high chance I'll get a surprise attack with a spray like some anti-thug measure. I definitely want to avoid that, but it's not like I can just barge into her room.

I exhaled my feelings of reluctance with a sigh, put my earphones in their case, and stopped the music playback.

"A boring reality, an unfulfilled wish, a future I no longer need, in a night sky where eyes, ears, and heart are sealed, fireworks"

"Crap."

I hurriedly stopped the music playback for real this time. I had made a mistake operating it, and "Kaikou FIRE FLOWER" sung by Hahyuu, which had been playing until just now, had started streaming from the phone's main speaker.

Fearfully, I looked at the door where Rukina had disappeared. I might have startled her.

A deep silence flowed. After a short while, the door opened hesitantly.

"--, a, ...um,"

A voice like a firefly's light, that seemed like it would vanish if you blew on it.

So as not to drown it out, I made an effort to lower my voice in response.

"What is it?"

"...Dorothy."

"You like it?"

"Kaikou FIRE FLOWER," which just played, was originally a Dorothy song created by a Doroshisuto named Danshari D. Dorothy songs often express the sentiments and conflicts of the younger generation with a fresh sensibility, so they tend to resonate with similar young people. Rukina might be one of them.

"Mm. ...my, salvation."

"It saved you, huh. I get it. Hahyuu helped me out a lot too."

Hahyuu's voice protected me from the noise that rained down like arrows. If she hadn't been there, my mental state might have been skewered and broken long ago.

"Hahyuu..."

Rukina looked down and scratched her head.

Her lips were pressed into a thin line, but strangely, she looked somewhat happy. --And then,

"...Comrade."

She muttered quietly and tried to leave.

"Hey, wait,"

Thinking I wouldn't get another chance if I missed this one, I called out to her.

"Are you eating?"

"My sister. She brings it to me."

"What about baths?"

"At dawn."

"What do you usually do in your room?"

"...Dau."

"...What was that?"

"Dau."

With that, she retreated into the back of her room. The door was open, but it slowly closed.

...What is "dau"? Doubt? Does it mean it's a forbidden word? If it was a signal not to get any closer, then it's my fault for being too intrusive.

But, since she called me a comrade, there probably won't be any more insecticide-on-sight encounters.

An undeniable great victory. If I was able to remove a certain level of her wariness, then I won't have to live a cockroach-like life in eternal fear of being sprayed with insecticide at any moment.

"...Hm?"

Suddenly, a face with blonde hair and blue eyes appeared, half-visible from the door, and its beautiful eyes stared at me intently.

"Is something wrong?"

I couldn't quite grasp what she was thinking, so I could only ask an innocuous question.

".... .... ...Aren't you coming?"

A fragile voice that seemed like it could be drowned out even by the second hand of a clock. Her small-animal-like appearance, shyly looking up at me, made it easy to imagine she had mustered all the courage she had.

"...Dau. I'll show you."

"Eh, ah, I'll go see."

I didn't really get it, but it was clear she was making an overture. I tossed my laundry from the laundromat and my bath things into my room and visited Rukina's.

"That's far enough. Don't come in any further."

As soon as I entered the room, Rukina held up her palm to stop me. Apparently, she would show me this 'dau' thing, but she had no intention of letting me get close. Well, that's to be expected.

It was like a hacker's room. In the dim room, multiple displays glowed faintly like ghosts, flanked by two speakers on each side. Under the desk was a large desktop computer expelling heat. At the end of the running cables were various complex-looking machines, expensive-looking black headphones, and an electronic piano.

It was cluttered, but it had an efficient, optimized sound.

Surely, each placement has its meaning. It's not just random; there's something like a residue of will ringing there. And it wasn't a murky noise.

What was she doing in here?

"Rukina... chan?"

I called out to her, but she ignored me and sat down in her gaming chair. She put her headphones around her neck, grabbed the mouse, and started working as if nothing had happened.

On the central display she was staring at, differently colored bands were running from side to side. A jagged waveform, like on a seismograph, was painted over those bands, and she was manipulating it to shape it-- was she editing?

All the commands in the software were in English. So, I had no idea what she was doing. It looked like she clicked a field labeled 'reverb,' but it was a word I'd never heard. The newly displayed screen also showed a transparent cuboid, a bar graph, and some incomprehensible knobs.

I was getting nowhere. I took out my phone and searched for "dau computer."

"...Eh?"

The answer came quickly. And when I understood, I couldn't hide my astonishment.

What came up was DAW--Digital Audio Workstation. A system for DTM (Desktop Music), which uses computers and other equipment to produce music without actually using instruments.

In other words, she was--

"Composing music?"

Her long blonde hair swayed with a nod.

I was genuinely surprised. Even though I knew about systems and environments like Dorothy that allow amateurs to create songs, I had a preconceived notion that music was something "someone else makes." I couldn't hide my shock at the fact that Rukina, a middle schooler, was easily leaping over that prejudice.

Moreover, she has anthropophobia. The fact that she can't talk to anyone other than Hoshimiya means she has no one she can call a mentor. Rukina is probably making music entirely self-taught.

"I am a Doroshisuto. If you study the theory, it's easy."

All the while, she didn't stop her quick clicks of the mouse.

Occasionally, she would put on her headphones and tap out a rhythm with her fingers. She was probably listening to the song she was working on right there. Her small figure from behind, however, looked every bit the part of a professional.

"It's a good era now. With just a computer, you can do everything."

Studying theory. Composing. Even distributing. Everything can be completed with a single computer. Thinking about it that way, it's probably a wonderful thing that even someone who can't leave their house like Rukina can be active.

"Especially. Dorothy is amazing. Everyone loves it."

"...Yeah. There are various Dorothy characters like 'Kamiuta Ai' and 'Otoumi Riko,' and someone's new song is frequently uploaded to both YouTube and Nico Douga."

Even if you say "Dorothy," there are a wide variety of characters with different voice qualities. Those are the Dorothy characters like "Kamiuta Ai" and "Otoumi Riko." They're so popular that fan art and the like are constantly being drawn and published in mountains online.

It's been over ten years since Dorothy was released. The reason it hasn't faded away and has continued to develop must be solely due to its charm.

Even in MobaPane, which I used to play a lot, several Dorothy songs were implemented.

"...I see, that's amazing, being a Doroshisuto."

I murmured to myself as I watched the girl continuously clicking her mouse.

"Well then, it'd be bad if I disturbed your work, so I'll be leaving now."

Rukina glanced at me as I was leaving the room and raised one hand as if in a salute. It was a gesture I didn't understand, but I interpreted it favorably as meaning something like "see you later."

Come to think of it, her voice had become clear at some point.

October 11th (Wed) It's starting to get cold, so I bought a second-hand blanket. Maybe because of the dust, Hoshimiya couldn't seem to stop sneezing. Apparently, she has a lot of allergies. She's surprisingly frail.

October 14th (Sat) Work. The number of customers on Saturday was insane. I was so busy, the dishes kept piling up infinitely and I couldn't keep up at all. I broke three plates in my haste. It's so tough. I want to quit.

October 20th (Fri) When I got home from work, Hoshimiya suddenly screamed and scared me. Apparently, I smelled like garlic. It seems putting too much garlic in the ramen I ate for my staff meal was a bad idea.

From now on, I have been banned from consuming any garlic whatsoever.

"You look pretty bored."

Hoshimiya, who was lying on the sofa reading manga on her phone, said in an exasperated tone to me, sprawled out like a tiger rug in the living room.

"Yeah. Bored as can be. Thanks to you, I have nothing to do."

"Don't be so cynical. There are plenty of ways to kill time, like manga or mobile games."

"If you don't fulfill your promise, I'll die in seven months. I won't be able to read the rest of the manga, and I'm not motivated to play mobile games either."

"What a difficult way to live. ...Can't be helped, guess I'll make a goal for you."

Hoshimiya fiddled with her phone again. After about a minute, she showed me her phone like a police badge. On the screen was the all-too-familiar start screen of "MobaPane."

"You used to get Full Combos easily, right?"

A Full Combo means clearing a song without a single mistake. For a rhythm gamer, it's one of the walls to becoming an advanced player. For those aiming for the top of eSports, though, it's the minimum line to clear.

"Get a Full Combo on one Level SS song. If you achieve it, I'll grant you any one wish."

"...It's impossible now. I told you. I can't play properly because of the aftereffects."

"That's why it's meaningful, isn't it? If you're bored anyway, work hard for the reward."

As she spoke, Hoshimiya started playing MobaPane. Holding her phone horizontally, she was frantically tapping the screen with her thumbs. Honestly, from my perspective, her movements were no better than an amateur's.

...Though in my current state, I probably couldn't even match Hoshimiya's movements.

Besides, I've only ever played on a responsive tablet. But that partner that I shared my joys and sorrows with was sold off long ago as part of my end-of-life preparations, and it's probably all sticky with someone else's fingerprints by now.

For now, I downloaded the MobaPane app. I started the game with a new account. I skipped the tutorial and started a song with a difficulty that couldn't be done with one hand (Level A).

Less than ten seconds after the song started. I couldn't press the button I intended to with my right thumb, and I missed. A feeling akin to disappointment stopped my fingers, and I watched the un-hit notes flow by meaninglessly.

--It's boring.

I can follow it with my eyes. It's too easy. And yet, I can't connect a combo. It was like an old arcade machine that doesn't respond when you hit it. I have no motivation at all. It's nothing but stress.

Noise poured out of the phone like insects. At the grating sound, I quickly closed the app.

"...This is hopeless."

"Geez. Can't be helped, I guess."

Hoshimiya stood up abruptly. It seems she also couldn't get a Full Combo and gave up midway through the song.

"I get it. Let's go. It'll also serve as part of Operation: Get Rid of the Noise."

"...Where to?" I glared at Hoshimiya while lying down.

Hoshimiya gave a smirk, then put on her sunglasses.

"To the king of fun, fun entertainment: karaoke."

And so, we came to a karaoke place in a building right in front of Nagoya Station.

It being my first time at karaoke, I was first surprised by the interior. Are all places this glamorous? It was a splendor that looked like it could host events like clubs or parties.

"--. --, ----."

Since I couldn't hear with my earphones in, I left the reception to Hoshimiya.

Apparently, we ended up with a three-hour course. I received a plastic basket with cups for the drink bar and a room number tag from the woman at the reception, and we entered the designated private room.

Urged by Hoshimiya, I fearfully took off my earphones.

...It's not as bad as I thought.

"Oh. Tsukishiro, you don't hear much noise here?"

"...Yeah. I wonder why. The food menu is a little noisy, but the microphone, the screen's video, and this tablet-like remote all sound clear."

"A remote? That's called a 'denmoku,' Mr. Samurai."

"Who are you calling a time traveler?"

Coming here, I feel like the number of things I can't hear noise from has increased.

The Hoshimiya sisters' voices, the machinery in Rukina's room, animal cries, landscape photos, the karaoke set--

I can't grasp any pattern, but it might be progress. It's probably not because of Hoshimiya's treatment, but it is likely thanks to Hoshimiya.

"Sorry, Tsukishiro, but could you be in charge of drinks? It's a pain to go out in disguise."

Hoshimiya said, taking off her sunglasses and mask. It seems she's not taking off Rukina's cap.

Honestly, I, who have to put on and take off my earphones every time I leave the room, also want to avoid going out as much as possible. But it's probably better than her doing it.

"...Well, okay. It's your money. I'll do that much. Is cola okay?"

"I can't drink carbonated drinks. My tongue hurts."

Hoshimiya said, like a child.

"Then what do you want?"

"Tomato juice."

"Roger."

"They don't have that at karaoke."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Ahaha. Bring me some green tea. Oh, and as thanks, I'll let you put in a song first."

Hoshimiya fiddled with the tablet-like device called a denmoku. However, her proposal wasn't particularly pleasing in any way. Because I don't know the rules of karaoke.

"No way. You go first, Hoshimiya."

"It's my first time going to karaoke with someone else. I don't know what I should sing."

"You've got some nerve inviting me, then..."

Half exasperated, I left the room and got green tea and cola from a drink bar like you'd find at a family restaurant. After returning to the room, I started searching for a song on the unfamiliar machine.

"By the way, Tsukishiro. I don't want to turn on the scoring function, is that okay? ...Oh, you probably don't know."

"They have a function like that? If you don't want it, Hoshimiya, that's fine. True, having points would be more like a rhythm game and would fire me up. ...Come to think of it, karaoke is similar to a rhythm game."

The scoring criteria are probably pitch and rhythm. Thinking of it as a game where you have to continuously fit the right pitch at the right timing according to the song, it seems very similar.

"Eh. Doesn't fire me up at all. When it tells me I'm off-pitch when I'm sure I'm on, it makes me want to smash it."

"And you play MobaPane. You're definitely not the type to be a rhythm gamer."

"I don't really play it. I can't get serious about it. Rather, how can serious players work so hard at it?"

"That's obvious, isn't it?"

Saying that, I finally reserved one song I liked.

"Because if you give up, you can't get a Full Combo."

What appeared on the screen was "Kaikou FIRE FLOWER." A Dorothy song composed by Danshari D.

"Eh?"

"Huh?"

"No... you like this one?"

"Oh, you know it?"

"Mmm, well. The key is high on this one. An octave lower?"

"Eh, what? I don't really get it, but don't expect too much."

I grabbed the mic. The accompaniment started. As expected, there was no noise. The sound quality was lower compared to the original, but the song's wildness and dynamism still came through sufficiently.

The applause of sound from numerous instruments shook my brain-- and then, the song began.

"'From a faraway place, I found you. Your back, heading towards the end, is so small--'"

I spun the song to the tempo. Of course, it's not like I'm a particularly good singer. My own voice, coming through the speakers, was incredibly weak and off-pitch.

But well, karaoke might certainly be a good thing. There's no noise, and singing a song that I had only ever 'listened' to myself felt like I had gone from consumer to producer, giving me an indescribable sense of superiority. Maybe the echo on this mic is creating this sense of unreality.

About three minutes later. As the song ended, I put down the mic.

"Danshari D has a lot of dark lyrics, but sometimes he makes songs like 'Kaikou FIRE FLOWER.' The kind that feels like you're saved by something in the end."

"...That's true."

"This cola is good. ...Huh, Hoshimiya, you haven't put a song in yet? Hurry up."

"Oh, right, right."

Hoshimiya took the denmoku as if startled and stared at the screen. She moved the stylus restlessly for just under a minute, but--

"Aah, no good, I can't choose. You, just sing this for now to fill the time."

A sudden, unreasonable request. What was entered was, of all things, a nursery rhyme. And the original version-- with English lyrics.

"Hold on!!"

"What is it? You know it, right? Even a kindergartener can sing it."

"Then you sing it!!"

My desperate rebuttal was in vain, and the accompaniment began.

If I keep throwing a tantrum and only the instrumental plays, I feel like the atmosphere will get really bad afterward. And being labeled as the guy who can't read the room is annoying, so I clicked my tongue and reluctantly started to sing.

"'Twinkle, twinkle, little star--'"

"!? Pfft, ahahahahahahaha!!!!!! What is that pronunciation!?"

Immediately after. Hoshimiya, deliberately flailing her legs and clutching her stomach, roared with laughter. It was infuriating to death.

"'How, I wonder, what, you are'"

"Heeeeee--!!!!!!"

This time she started banging on the table in front of her like a broken toy. Seriously, don't mess with me.

"'Up, above, the, the, the world so high...?'"

"The, the rhythm's not, ah, haha, haha, ugh"

"'Like, a, diamond, in the sky'"

"Hee, hee, hee..."

Hoshimiya was visibly having trouble breathing. Her diaphragm seemed to be on the verge of convulsing. She took several seconds to somehow control her ragged breathing, which was as rough as if she had just finished a long-distance run--

"'Twinkle, twinkle, little star--'"

"Mmph!? Ugh, aha, ahahahahahaha!!!!!! Stop it alreadyyyyy----!!!!!!"

I was starting to have fun somehow.

I sang the rest of the English nursery rhyme with solid pronunciation.

"I sincerely apologize, Tsukishiro-san."

"As long as you understand."

Freed from the curse of explosive laughter, Hoshimiya prostrated herself on the sofa. I feel great. The cola is delicious.

"But still, Hoshimiya. Don't you think? In English, they roll their tongues excessively to make sounds like 'we,' and they link 'and you' to sound like 'and-you.' Even 'thank you' is 'thank-you,' right? I think they should fix that at some point."

"That's complete nonsense from someone who hates English. But well, I get what you're trying to say. I've met foreign actresses, and I seriously couldn't understand what they were saying. But I think misheard lyrics and things are funny."

"Hmm. For example?"

"The funniest one was... what was it? Ah, right, this, this, like this."

Hoshimiya showed me the text she had written out on her phone's translation app.

"'My uncle also sang it'-- I wonder if she was talking to an artist. Do you get the meaning?"

"Um, uncle? Aunt? also sang it... something like that?"

"Yup. Uncle. If you make it pronounce this..."

The translation app read the text in a native female voice. I thought, as usual, it's not a pronunciation meant for people to hear. Trying my best to render it into Japanese as I heard it, was it 'My anko ruso sengiri' (My red bean paste also shredded)? It's not a complete enough sentence to be called a misheard lyric, but....

Hoshimiya, on the other hand, was suppressing her laughter, chuckling... Was she laughing at the memory?

"So? Isn't it hilarious?"

"...By the way, what did you hear, Hoshimiya?"

"My declaration to poop."

It was like something an elementary school boy would say.

"Is that funny?"

"Huh!? Seriously, if you said it to me again now, it might be whatever, but!! Hearing it in the moment was hilarious!!!!"

"Your sensibilities are pretty childish, you know. You can't even drink carbonated stuff."

"Whaaaaat------!?"

Hoshimiya slammed the table and shot up. She was furious. I couldn't keep up with her energy level. The way she suddenly snapped, I thought, was just like a child.

I dangled the denmoku in front of her.

"If you want to shout, then sing already."

Hoshimiya, who didn't even try to hide her displeasure with a frown, finally began to speak after a ten-second pause.

"...You know, I like singing."

Hoshimiya's tone of voice had dropped about three levels.

"Isn't singing amazing? It can cheer up a downcast child, and it can even make a grown adult cry. If anything, they often say that music has a good influence even on a baby in the womb."

"...? Yeah, I guess so."

"I also know a child who was stopped from doing something thanks to music. Music is hope. And hope has the power to change people. That's why I... I love singing so much I could sing forever."

Not understanding what Hoshimiya was trying to say, I was staring blankly at her face when,

"...But. I will never sing in front of you!!"

Hoshimiya suddenly shouted at the top of her lungs and stuck her tongue out.

"I have no song to sing for someone who makes fun of me!! Pfft!!"

"Wh-what's that... don't be so sulky."

"I'm not sulking!!"

"You're too childish."

"I'm not a child!!"

"It's fine, just calm down."

"I am calm!!"

This is hopeless. The more I try to calm her down, the more Hoshimiya heats up like a toddler throwing a tantrum. I can't believe someone like this is older than me.

"Anyway!! I'm not singing anymore!! You kill time by yourself for three hours!! I'll just put in all of Danshari D's songs for now!!"

"Huh!? Wait a minute!! There's no way my throat can handle--"

The first song. The intro to "Shuuen WORLD LEAPER" began.

The curtain rose on the throat death game.

October 27th (Fri) My throat hurt because of yesterday's karaoke bullying, and I caught a cold. I'll never forgive that woman. But the egg porridge she made was delicious. I asked her to put garlic in it to build up my strength, but she said no. I miss that smell.

If you sleep for two days, most colds will be completely cured.

Having recovered and craving meat and fat, I devoured a cheese gyumeshi from Matsuya in the morning. It had a sensual taste that seemed to seep into every organ of my body.

"...Hey, Hoshimiya?"

When I got home, the house was unusually quiet. Rukina was probably just starting to sleep, but Hoshimiya should have been awake. Her shoes were in the entryway, so I didn't think she was out.

Then, suddenly, I heard a sound like a cough, kon-kon. It was coming from Hoshimiya's room.

She basically doesn't hole up in her room. Usually, she's on the living room sofa watching a Western movie or anime with a tomato juice in hand. But today, it seems she hasn't come out of her room.

I wondered for a moment, but then it clicked. I must have given it to her.

"Hoshimiya? Are you okay?"

I knocked on her room door and called out.

"Looks like I caught a cold."

A voice hoarser than usual came from behind the door.

"Looks like it."

"You can bring me some porridge and Pocari Sweat."

"What an impudent patient."

"And a cooling patch and a blanket, please."

"You're actually fine, aren't you?"

Cursing under my breath, I headed to the kitchen. Had she stocked up for my nursing, or what? There were about five types and 30 servings of retort porridge. I chose a plain one from the selection and started heating it in a hot water bath.

Although the root cause was the harassment at karaoke, I had been in Hoshimiya's care for these two days. If this continues, there's no telling what she'll say using this as an excuse. This will make us even.

I placed the finished porridge, Pocari Sweat, and cooling patch on a wooden tray, draped the blanket from the sofa over my arm, and knocked on Hoshimiya's door again.

"Coming in."

It was a room with a soft atmosphere. The window being south-facing, the sunlight diffused by the white lace faintly illuminated the entire room. Combined with the slightly sweet scent, it reminded me of a flower field.

On the single bed set in the corner of that white-themed room, Hoshimiya, wrapped in a tomato-patterned gown, was sitting up.

Compared to usual, her face lacked energy. One might even say it felt ephemeral. Combined with the soft indirect sunlight, her presence was so faint it seemed she might dissolve into the light and disappear.

"Thanks, Tsukishiro. Can you put it on my lap?"

Hoshimiya, sitting with her legs stretched out, had the futon up to her thighs. I slowly placed the tray I brought on top of it. I folded the blanket and put it on the corner of the bed for the time being.

"Eh, wait. Is this possibly seasoned only with salt?"

"Savor the flavor of the ingredients."

"But I made you egg porridge..."

Even her face showing dissatisfaction was weak. Hoshimiya brought the porridge to her mouth with a slow hand and then, "Ah, but it's delicious," she let out a relieved smile.

...She seems worse off than I thought.

When we spoke from the other side of the door, I thought she was spouting her usual hateful remarks.

Seeing her like this in person, she's terribly weak. Her usual high-handed attitude had subsided.

Her straight eyebrows, as if she had ceased expressing emotions. Her pale skin, despite being in the sun. Her once-round eyes were only about 80% open, giving a somewhat sleepy impression.

"...You know, I've been frail since I was a child."

Hoshimiya murmured weakly as she slowly ate her porridge.

A twisted, self-deprecating smile flickered on her lips.

"I catch colds easily, and I was often hospitalized when they got worse. Actually, I almost died once. No matter how much I breathed in, it was painful, I lost consciousness, and had one foot in the River Styx. That was... scary."

Hoshimiya was staring down at the bowl in her hands. Her hand was trembling slightly.

"If that's the case, you should have figured out you were going to catch a cold with your future sight."

"...I have a policy of not using it on myself."

"What's that about?"

"Oh, and also, Tsukishiro."

Hoshimiya looked up, as if she had suddenly remembered something.

"Tonight, could you make dinner and bring it to Rukina too? Retort curry is fine."

"...I can't really say no, can I?"

I can't make Hoshimiya, who looks like it's a pain to even make her own food, cook for someone else. If this were an impudent request, I would have rejected it, but I can't dismiss her concern for her sister's meal.

"Thanks. Oh, Rukina likes cheese curry, so put some Gouda cheese between the white rice and the roux, and on top of the roux too. Also, you have to torch it with a burner or else she doesn't like it because it smells too cheesy, so please do that. Ah, oops. The cheese might be a little old. Could you smell it and if it seems a bit off, I'd like you to go buy some more. The same brand, okay? I usually get it online, but I think there was a store in the Meieki underground mall--"

"You really are impudent!!"

I slammed the door shut and left.

Fortunately, the cheese had not gone bad.

November 2nd (Thu) Hoshimiya's cold isn't getting better. I'm bored. Chatted with Rukina instead. I feel like I've been talking to her more lately. It's good that her guard seems to be down.

November 5th (Sun) Had a half-day shift today. Customers come in at weird times like three or four o'clock, so I can't let my guard down. What kind of lifestyles do those guys have?

Hoshimiya's cold finally seems to be gone. It took quite a while. About a week?

November 10th (Fri) Hoshimiya was taking some powdered medicine. When I asked if she was still feeling unwell, she said it wasn't medicine but a strong throat lozenge. She seems to like singing, so she might be taking care of her throat. Is she a pro?

"--What are you looking at?"

As I was lying on the sofa looking at SNS, Hoshimiya came right up and peered at my phone.

"Don't just look without permission."

"...Eh, what? You like Hahyuu?"

Ignoring my blatant displeasure, Hoshimiya looked at the screen and said with surprise.

What I was looking at was Hahyuu's account.

"Well, yeah. What I'm always listening to with my earphones is Hahyuu's 'utattemita' (song covers)."

"...Hmm. Ah, so that's why at karaoke..."

Hoshimiya's meaningful response. A faint hint of joy could be felt in her eyes-- and in the next moment, it had vanished. As if a giant rock had crushed the small insect of emotion.

"What is it?"

"Did you tell Rukina?"

"Eh, yeah, a long time ago. I think that's when she started letting me in her room."

Hoshimiya again seemed to be lost in thought with a dark expression. Unable to stand her inscrutable face, I said a word.

"If you have something to say, say it."

".... Ask Rukina."

Spitting out the words like a whisper, Hoshimiya then shut herself in her room.

...What the hell is going on?

It had been a long time since I'd seen Hoshimiya that down. Not since that time at the zoo at dusk, when she spilled her anxiety about being forgotten one day.

Unable to clear the fog in my head, I closed my phone and went to Rukina's room. I knocked on the door three times.

"Rukina."

"Mm."

She gave an incomprehensible reply, but her gaze never shifted my way.

As always, she continued to stare only at the monitor in front of her, engrossed in music production.

"Just in time. You came. New song, it's done."

Right after, an A4 sheet of paper slid to my feet. When I picked it up, I saw complex Japanese bullet points written in a cute but scribbled handwriting. It must be the lyric sheet for the new song.

The title was-- "Hakoniwa UTOPIA" (Miniature Garden UTOPIA).

...It's a song title in the style of Danshari D. Well, I guess she admires him.

"Five more minutes. The final touches."

"The finishing touches? Can I watch for a bit? I'm interested."

"I don't mind."

I said I would watch, but I have absolutely no knowledge of DTM. So I hardly understood what her busy operations were for, but it wasn't bad at all to see a girl with a painful past testing her own talent like this.

"Comrade. Can you tell by watching?"

Rukina had been calling me "Comrade."

I certainly don't remember telling her my name, but I wonder if Hoshimiya hadn't told her.

"No, I can't tell. Are you going to explain it?"

"Dorothy's voice. I'm blending it into the oke."

"What's an oke? Karaoke?"

"Not wrong. It's the music data, with just the performance."

After asking various questions, it seems the basic flow of DTM is to first have the performance data of the instrumental section, like drums, bass, and guitar... the oke, and then mix in the vocal data.

"I'm putting effects on the voice. Right now, it's reverb."

"Effects? Like that frog voice Hahyuu sometimes does? You're doing some elaborate stuff."

"Whether you'd call a frog voice an effect is a fine line. But that's generally it."

I might have been underestimating her somewhere in my heart just because she's a middle schooler. To think she's pouring so much detail even into the voice quality.

My interest was suddenly piqued. I leaned forward and instinctively peered at the computer.

"'. T-too close. Get away."

"Ah. S-sorry."

Noticing Rukina's shoulders tremble slightly with a jolt, I hurriedly distanced myself. She's been talking a lot lately, and I thought her guard had lowered a little, but it seems she's still afraid of other people.

Suuu, Rukina placed a hand on her chest and took a deep breath, as if to calm herself.

"...The reverb I'm doing now is a spatial effect. It leaves a reverberant sound at the tail end of the voice."

"Like when you sing at karaoke?"

"Mm. Not just that. You can recreate a space. Give it expansiveness."

"...Ah. I think I kind of get it. Like, bathrooms echo, and gyms echo too, but the way they echo is different. Huh, so you adjust that to match the image of the song?"

Reverberation tailored to the song's mood. A composer is probably someone who makes even subtle adjustments that you can't distinguish unless you listen carefully.

"You understand too much. It's creepy."

"If you listen to Hahyuu, you can kind of tell. Like, sometimes her voice is all fluffy, or sometimes it sounds like it's coming from far away. Was that all effects... that's kind of interesting."

"Mm. Almost every singer does it. It's necessary to blend the voice with the oke."

"Oh, what you said at the beginning. I don't quite get it, though."

I can't really imagine how an echo-like reverberation helps it blend with the performance data. In the first place, what does it even mean to blend?

"Guitars, too. And drums. Instruments originally have reverberation. But voices don't. So, if you play them all at once, only the voice sounds floated. That's why you add reverberation to the voice, too."

"Hmm. Oh, is the echo at karaoke for that too?"

"Mm. That's right. Conversely, with a normal mic, for example a school mic--"

She said that much, and then Rukina's voice stopped abruptly.

Not just her voice. Her ceaselessly moving mouse, even her breathing, had all vanished.

"...Rukina?"

"Wait."

Rukina said only that in a hoarse voice, then grabbed a nearby plastic bottle and took a sip of water. Her hand was shaking abnormally. Hah, hah, she repeated shallow breaths. Her face contorted as if in a headache, and a thin film of tears even welled up in her lapis-blue eyes as they stared into the void.

"...Are you okay?"

Not understanding what had happened, I could only manage those words.

"...I'm fine. Just an, attack."

Although she said that, Rukina's condition was clearly not okay. Her complexion was getting worse and worse, and her lips seemed to have a bluish tinge. Sweat was even starting to bead on her small forehead. Her delicate, child-like hands were still trembling uncontrollably.

But I didn't have the guts to hold them, and in the first place, it would be counterproductive for Rukina.

There was nothing I could do for her.

Silence fell.

Only Rukina's shallow, ragged breathing and the sound of the computer's fan expelling heat dominated the room.

"...Today. I had a bad dream."

What finally slipped out was a terribly wavering voice.

"...A dream about school. A hotbed of peer pressure. It was just exclusion, a hell."

--That girl, you see, she was bullied.

Hoshimiya's words from that time echoed in my brain.

Rukina, who because of her unique appearance, was looked at strangely by her classmates and ostracized.

The place where the trust she had placed was betrayed, leaving her with a mental scar so deep she still can't interact with others.

"Reverb is the same. Beings that are different from their surroundings, float. They're excluded. To blend in, you have to become the same as everyone around you."

Rukina looked down, as if to hide her face.

The long, silky hair that covered her seemed like a prison that confined her.

"But I can't blend in, either."

Her small back rose and fell weakly.

Even though she was right in front of me, she seemed like she might disappear like a firefly.

"That's why I escaped to music. Because with music, I can push through only my own opinions. Because I only have to say what I think. ...Because it's easy."

Those words were, to the very end, earnest.

They had a sound imbued with so much truth that it hurt to listen.

I dropped my gaze again to the "Hakoniwa UTOPIA" lyric sheet in my hands.

"On this gouged-out, desolate land, who will sow the seeds for me?"

"There's no guarantee they'll sprout. There's no way such an eccentric exists, right?"

"Everyone just follows the leader. Everyone is, after all, just a puppet."

"They have nothing in their hands, yet they're satisfied -- why?"

"Just break!! I don't need this non-functional execution block anymore."

"I want to wash this world drowning in appearances with blood, and dye it all pitch black."

"The mass production method of superficial 'say, cheese' is like a demon that follows you for life, so vile."

"Laughing even if the world ends. Inescapable. A bad end closing in on my throat."

"Who will water the plants that have been deceived and withered away?"

"Once gone, they don't return. This kind of irreversibility is common sense, isn't it?"

"Everyone just does an about-face. Everyone just wears a mask."

"Pretending not to see anything, protecting their happiness -- why?"

"Just end!! The charlatan who boasts, 'just the way you are'."

"Shall I throw out this junk solidified with deception and reset everything?"

"It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, where does it hurt? Hazy, a spider's thread, an unknown window, so incomplete."

"No matter how much time passes, I can't smile. Unreachable. A good end drawn in the void."

"Even if the world denies me..."

"Let's just make it!! The agonizing flattery is no longer visible."

"Swallowing tears of blood, creating a miniature garden. The frog in the well is a king."

"There is only one established rule: create without ceasing fantasy, grotesquely."

"Someday, surely, I'll be able to laugh. I've swept away and discarded my jealousy towards the other-worlder. END."

"Someday, absolutely, I'll be laughing. A cold and gentle happy end, all to myself."

...Could this be?

A song that expresses the community of school itself, as Rukina felt it?

The classmates who tormented her. Those who went along with them, and the great majority who pretended not to see. And then, deceived, she became a shut-in, covered herself with a wall, and chose to be alone.

"I had a dream. It was scary. It was terrifying. But I didn't want to endure it anymore. A song I made in one day. That is 'Hakoniwa UTOPIA.' A rebellion against those guys who appeared in my dream."

Within the emotions pouring out fluently, an aggressive tone flickered in and out of view.

But. Its core was terribly warped and creaking.

It surely isn't wrong. But it's probably not right, either.

I couldn't answer anything. I couldn't find the words to say.

"Even saying all this. No one gets angry. This is my utopia."

Crushing the empty plastic bottle she had just drained, Rukina tossed it into the trash can.

"...Rukina."

I was certain. The atmosphere of those lyrics. The way the title was named. And her upbringing. It matched the characteristics of a certain person too perfectly.

Rukina was so young that I had dismissed it as mere admiration... but there was no room for doubt anymore.

"You... are you Danshari D?"

"Mm."

A Doroshisuto's activity name is sometimes one they give themselves from the start, and other times it's named by fans who know the characteristics of the songs or the creator's personality. Danshari D is the latter.

The origin was that her first submitted song was "Danshari EVERYDAY," and while the lyrics were about culling all of humanity, all the people shown discarded in the video's illustration were men, leading a viewer to leave the comment, "Aren't only men dying? Is this 'Danshari' (man-discarding)?"

In other words, that viewer had coincidentally hit upon the deep psychology of the girl named Hoshimiya Rukina.

"You get it, right? I hate people. They're scary. ...Comrade. Go home for today. I'm tired."

".... ...I understand."

Even with the girl in front of me so hurt, I can't say anything.

Because no one has ever said anything to me, I don't know what I should say.

Because I've kept running from the encroaching pain, I can't find the words I want someone to say to me.

"...Good night."

I slowly left the room.

I couldn't look at her face.

November 12th (Sun) Rukina left all of last night's late snack and today's breakfast untouched in the hallway. I was worried, but it's good that she seems to have eaten dinner today. I hope she gets back on her feet soon.

November 15th (Wed) Work. There weren't many customers. Before leaving, I had a chance to chat a bit with the manager by writing. In the course of the conversation, he told me it's good to have a dream. His dream is to have his own shop, and he wants to one day spread his own flavor to the world, instead of being an employed ramen shop manager. But honestly, it didn't really resonate with me. Because I'll probably be dead in a little over half a year.

"...Mm."

After dinner. I encountered Rukina in front of the Hoshimiya family's toilet.

She lives a nocturnal life. So her active hours overlap with mine and Hoshimiya's either in the early morning or after evening. Probably, Rukina has just woken up and is about to start her activities.

"...Hey. You doing okay?"

Rukina quickly dropped her gaze awkwardly. Not only that, she turned her back to me. She's trying to go back to her room.

I couldn't say anything more. I couldn't gauge how well her wounds were healing. Five days have passed since then, but I have no idea how much Rukina's mental state has recovered.

"...Comrade,"

Amidst that, Rukina muttered without even looking at me.

"Me. ...Do you like me?"

The landmine question had descended.

What is the correct answer for her, with her anthropophobia? In an infinitely compressed amount of time, my brain went into full spin. It spat out each conclusion instantly.

Like -> As I thought, all men are beasts, don't ever come near me again.

Don't like -> I thought if you were a comrade, you might open your heart a little...

Neither -> So you're saying I'm not even worthy of your attention.

Like, but not in a romantic sense -> You're overthinking it, it's gross. As I thought, men are (etc.)

...This is bad. I have no idea.

In that case, there's only one course of action. To tell her exactly how I feel.

"...I think, you're an amazing person. Despite having gone through something incredibly painful in the past, you're still testing your own talent, and that, I thought was purely cool. Because it's something I couldn't do."

It was an honest impression, without any lies.

It's true that Rukina hasn't overcome her past. Rather, she's trapped by it, and even now, she's so hurt that she trembles when she suddenly remembers.

But. That's precisely why. Even in that state, even when pulled by heavy shackles, she doesn't only look back.

Even if she isn't moving forward, she certainly isn't just sinking silently into the swamp.

The figure of such a weak yet brave girl could even be described as noble. That's what I thought.

...Is this even an answer?

I don't know. Maybe what Rukina is asking isn't something like that.

But this is all I could say.

But this, I was able to say.

".... ...,"

Rukina pressed her lips together tightly. Her bangs hung over her downturned face, and her beautiful eyes were not visible now.

However, I could just make out that her mouth was forming a faint curve.

"..., Comrade."

"What?"

"...New song. Listen."

She smiled faintly as she put her hand on her room's door.

Her voice was as clear as a winter blue sky.

To state the conclusion, it was incredible.

The sound of the chime, which now even felt nostalgic. After that began a thick, fierce barrage of sound from the drums and bass-- the so-called rhythm section. Just when I thought I was being bombarded by low notes that resonated deep within my body, there were piercing high notes from the synth and guitar that shot through my brain. However, all of it was slightly distorted. As if being invaded by a bug in the world.

The song, proceeding in a melancholic minor scale that wore a somewhat dark atmosphere, nevertheless, with its fast tempo and intense mood, vividly conveyed Danshari D's negative emotions, as if his blood were spurting out.

Exclusion and hatred. Resistance and escape. The song had a power and resolution as if it had a will of its own, trying to drag the listener into a gloomy world.

Can music carry this much emotion?

"...H-how was it?"

When the sound from the speakers stopped, Rukina peered at me with a fearful expression.

"It was amazing. I can't say anything more than that. This might be my favorite song of all of Danshari D's."

Hahyuu has uploaded "utattemita" videos for all of Danshari D's songs. Since I've listened to all of them, it means I've naturally grasped all of Danshari D's songs too.

That's why I can say it. This song is more shocking than any song before it.

To use a common expression... my soul trembled.

"It might be partly because I know how you feel, Rukina, but still, this song is amazing. Really. When are you going to upload it?"

Without a doubt, "Hakoniwa UTOPIA" will become one of Danshari D's representative songs.

My excitement got the better of me, and I moved closer to Rukina.

That's when I noticed. The distance between me and Rukina had become so close that our shoulders were touching.

"...Not yet. I don't have a video to go with the song. I'll commission one."

And yet, Rukina wasn't scared. She just continued the conversation normally.

"I see. It was a song you made all of a sudden. I think this will get a huge response."

"Too much praise. ...But, I'm looking forward to it."

Looking forward to it. The words Rukina said, though shyly. For her, who had been deeply hurt in the past and still couldn't look straight ahead, a positive emotion had certainly appeared.

I was genuinely happy. It's not like I've known her life in real time up to now, but still, the figure of a girl trying to live strongly against a harsh fate was very beautiful--

Suuu, the blood drained from my face.

...Wasn't I trying to commit suicide?

I don't know. I no longer have a dream to aim for or a reason to live, and my desire to be freed from this world steeped in noise hasn't changed.

But, a lingering attachment has formed. If I die right now, I won't be able to witness Rukina's success. At the very least, I've started to want to see the moment her new song is released to the world with my own eyes.

...Maybe I should stop getting involved.

I don't want to make the fetters on my suicide attempt any larger. When the time comes, I don't want to create chains that would stop my feet, that would tie me to this world.

"As I thought. I want to ask the usual person for the video. Akane-san from 'Shuuen WORLD LEAPER' and 'Houkai SYMPHONY'. Her art is cute but scary. I think it will definitely fit."

Rukina busily fiddled with the mouse. Speaking more talkatively than usual, she turned her eyes, like a child the night before a field trip, to the display.

...But. Am I going to destroy this? Just when the girl named Hoshimiya Rukina has finally started to walk.

Am I going to dam up that small but large step with my own personal selfishness?

"...Yeah. I also like her deformed art style that makes you a little uneasy. Her sense is amazing too, I'm sure she'll properly express what you want to say, Rukina."

I couldn't say it. I can't crush a talent that has just begun to bud. I couldn't take away from Rukina the journey to a dream that was once unreasonably closed off to myself.

"...By the way, Rukina, can I ask you one thing?"

"What?"

"If you're Danshari D, you must have a connection with Hahyuu, right? Have you ever met them?"

"...Your thinking. It's a mystery."

Rukina spat out a reply to me while fiddling with SNS on her computer.

From the list of accounts she was following, Rukina selected "Akane @ Accepting Work Requests." She typed on the keyboard, sending a DM to request a video be made.

Among the ten or so accounts she was following, Hahyuu's name was not there.

"No, but. Hahyuu sings all of Danshari D's songs, right? I have a strong image of you two as a set. I thought you'd be frequently exchanging DMs or something."

Rukina thought for a few seconds, then murmured, "...Ah, I see," and

"It's not like they won't sing if you don't contact them online. Utaite are like that."

"I guess that's true, but..."

How should I put it, I feel like my dream has been shattered.

"...But. Something similar has happened. I was able to talk with Yuzuriha Minori via DM."

"...Who's that?"

"The person inside Otoumi Riko."

"The person inside...? Otoumi Riko is the Dorothy character that Danshari D often uses, right?"

Dorothy is a voice synthesis technology that allows anyone to make a character sing. As the name suggests, if you just buy the dedicated software, an electronic voice will sing your original songs on your computer. There's no "person inside" or anything; it should all just be data. It's different from anime characters or theme park mascots. --Or so I thought.

"You don't know? Dorothy analyzes and reproduces human voices. So, there are models too. Obviously."

"Huh!? Dorothy isn't made from scratch!?"

It was a fact shocking enough to be in the top three of my life.

Who could believe that that electronic voice was originally someone's voice? I thought it was a crystal of wisdom created by some amazing Japanese technology.

"They record various patterns of voices. Analyze them. And create it. To not even know that, you're disqualified as a Dorothy Master."

"Well, I'm fine with being disqualified... but wow, that's amazing. So, the person whose voice became the basis for Otoumi Riko is that Yuzuriha Minori person. Wow--"

"...Could it be. You don't know Yuzuriha Minori either? She's a famous voice actress, you know?"

Stare. Rukina's translucent eyes pierced me as if in disbelief.

"...You prokaryote."

Spitting out an insult I could hardly believe, Rukina returned to her exchange with "Akane."

It seems she sent the just-completed sound source to "Akane." From now on, someone she doesn't even know the face of will draw pictures and make a video for Rukina. An interaction that would have been impossible without the technology of Dorothy.

"So you've been doing all this stuff to upload videos for all the songs you've made until now. I never even imagined. I'll re-listen to all of your songs later. Yeah, since I'm at it, I'll listen from the first one. It's 'Danshari EVERYDAY,' right?"

"It's embarrassing, so do it where I'm not around. ...Also, I have one correction."

"What?"

"The first song I ever made. Was not 'Danshari EVERYDAY'."

A shocking fact was casually thrown at me, and I couldn't help but let out an "eh."

"There's a song I haven't uploaded to YouTube. I'm not letting you hear it, though."

"What's that about? I'm curious, let me hear it."

"No. It's my own, treasure."

"Then don't go out of your way to say it, damn it."

I clicked my tongue and openly showed my dissatisfaction. Seeing that, Rukina chuckled.

From that smile, a clear, single note was struck.

That incredibly clear tone didn't seem like it could come from a girl who had been a shut-in for many years.

November 17th (Fri) I researched Dorothy a bit. Apparently, there are cases where Dorothy's technology was applied to a project to reproduce the singing voice of deceased individuals from vocal data of past released recordings or audio from TV show appearances. Amazing.

November 20th (Mon) My training period at work ended, and my hourly wage went up by 200 yen to 1,000 yen. Calmly thinking, I think that's insane. The manager also said he has high hopes for me. It's true that two part-timers who came in after me have already quit, so I might be a rare case. But somehow, I couldn't accept it straightforwardly.

November 29th (Wed) The completed MV arrived from the person who was commissioned to make the video for "Hakoniwa UTOPIA." That was fast. And it was the best. Rukina looked satisfied too. She uploaded it to YouTube while saying dangerous things like "I'm gonna destroy the world." Being able to see that from behind the scenes is such a luxury.

I was shocked that it got 100,000 views in about three hours after being posted. And on a weekday. Is this going viral?

1:30 PM. After pouring retort curry into my stomach, I was holed up in my futon in my room, fiddling with my phone. As always, I was following Hahyuu's posts on SNS.

It seems she's releasing a new song on YouTube for the first time in a while. It's been about three months since the last one, "Kaikou FIRE FLOWER." Judging by the timing, it's probably "Hakoniwa UTOPIA," which Rukina-- Danshari D, newly released.

I feel restless somehow. It's like the day before exam results are announced.

If Mom were alive, I would have let out this elation to her, but that's no longer possible. The person I can pour my heart out to is no longer by my side.

So. Swallowing my surging feelings, I gently tossed my phone aside.

"Alright, we're going out. Get ready in 40 seconds."

And then, without paying any mind to my sentimental mood, Hoshimiya barged into the room.

"Don't just barge in. ...Where to this time?"

"Why, of course."

Hoshimiya twirled her wrist and pointed a finger,

"Someplace nice ♡"

"I'm sleeping."

I pulled the futon over my head in a split second. If she's making a big deal out of it, there's no way it's a "nice place." An absolutely stressful situation is waiting for me. I'm not enough of a complete masochist to knowingly tag along.

"Now, now, come on out. I'm sure you'll be happy about it too."

Hoshimiya said as she mercilessly ripped the futon off me. Her figure reminded me of my mother who used to wake me up... I forced down the light, clear note that sounded and converted it into a click of my tongue.

"You're probably the only 17-year-old boy in this world who gets woken up by Hoshimiya Miyuki and clicks his tongue."

"Well, that's an honor. ...Huh?"

I scratched my head and glanced annoyedly at Hoshimiya, and then I noticed.

Behind her, a creature with an appearance so bizarre it was out of place was standing there silently.

Pitch-black sunglasses, a large mask covering the lower half of the face. A hood pulled down low to frame them, and even a scarf wrapped around the neck despite being indoors. To top it all off, a large gray coat that reached the ankles, hiding the body's lines. It was harder to find a spot where skin was visible... or rather, there probably wasn't any exposed part at all. That's how perfectly this suspicious person had mastered the art of bundling up.

"Could it be, Rukina?"

"Mm."

A familiar short reply. The girl, trapped by her past and with a wounded heart, was emerging from her room completely concealed. And Hoshimiya's line about "going out." The conclusion to be drawn was singular.

"Are you... going out?"

"It's been a while. I also, only at this time, go outside."

I didn't know. It was a surprise in itself that this girl, a shut-in with anthropophobia, had the option of going somewhere other than her house. Well, it's probably a good thing.

"Are you okay?"

"It's fine. I'm not meeting anyone. As long as I can endure the taxi, I'm okay."

In her tone, there wasn't a speck of fear.

It seems she really doesn't have any resistance to leaving the house itself.

"...So? What are you going to do? Not that I'm giving you the option not to go."

"Then don't ask. ...I'll go. Of course I'm going. I'm purely curious."

I got up from the futon, unplugged my phone from the charging cable, and put it in my pocket.

Seeing that, Hoshimiya, who had put on her sunglasses, smiled with some satisfaction.

"Right. Well, let's head down for now. Oh, Tsukishiro, bring the carry case from the entryway. Rukina, I'll LINE you when the taxi comes, so lock up and come down, okay?"

After giving those instructions, Hoshimiya beckoned and headed for the entrance,

"...Ah."

she let out a sound as if she'd messed up. She quickly hid a plastic bag that was by the entrance behind her back, but with too much force, one of its contents flew out at my feet.

"What's this?"

"G-give it back!"

I pushed past Hoshimiya's resistance and picked up what had fallen at my feet.

It was a sheet containing twelve white, Ramune-like tablets. A name was printed in Katakana, but that alone didn't tell me what it was.

Hoshimiya forcefully slipped past my interference and snatched the sheet of tablets.

"What's wrong, getting so worked up?"

"It's my fault for leaving it out, but... don't you dare say a word of this to Rukina."

Hoshimiya said threateningly, glaring at me with bottomlessly cold eyes.

I sort of guessed. Hoshimiya had once said that Rukina was taking tranquilizers. If Rukina realized that I knew about it, it would surely be a burden on her. That must be what this is about.

"...I get it."

Hoshimiya snorted, hid the bag in the shoe cupboard, and went outside.

I followed Hoshimiya, pulling the unusually heavy carry case. We got into the elevator, and the doors closed and began to descend.

In the space where only the sound of the elevator's motor could be heard, Hoshimiya suddenly spoke in a thorny voice.

"...Hey. While I'm at it. You seem pretty infatuated with Rukina lately, but if you lay a hand on her, I'll rip it off. If you want her to reintegrate into society, find another way."

"Infatuated? You mean like her? That's not happening, so don't worry. Besides, if a future like that existed, you could just stop it, right?"

"You're quite an idiot, you know. I've already seen 'the future where she recovers.' So, until that point in time passes, I can't see any other futures concerning her."

"Ah, right, there was a restriction like that. Not very flexible, is it?"

The doors opened. I put on my earphones and went outside, where Hoshimiya started making a call somewhere. About ten minutes later, a taxi arrived, and Hoshimiya called for Rukina, and the two of them happily got into the back seat. I was in the passenger seat.

After about fifteen minutes of being rocked by the car, the navigation announced our arrival at the destination. From there, Hoshimiya gave detailed directions, and after driving for another three minutes, we finally stopped.

While Hoshimiya was paying with a card, I got out first.

The place we got out at was Sakae, one of Nagoya's downtown areas.

Sturdy buildings that seemed to support the sky stood in rows, with department stores and a TV tower standing out among them. The area around Nagoya Station is also full of high-rise buildings, but Sakae here is no slouch either.

The roads are narrow, but Hirokoji is literally wide, with fountains and large roadside trees lined up like a park.

An event seemed to be taking place in a plaza-like area, with rows of tents like street stalls. For some reason, the savory smell of grilled meat also drifted over.

"Stop looking around. You're conspicuous. We're going in."

As I was shown the text on her phone, I was pushed from behind and forced into a building.

It was a slightly shabby four-story multi-tenant building, a stark contrast to the urban feel of the surroundings. After passing through a glass door that wasn't even automatic, I took off my earphones at Hoshimiya's instruction.

It was an inorganic, dim room like a dentist's waiting room. From behind a counter where almost only his face was visible, a tough-looking, bearded man shot a sharp glance our way.

...What is this. Did we wander into a bad place?

The active Hoshimiya was one thing, but I felt that at the very least, this wasn't a place for someone like Rukina to be.

In the dim room, the air was cold and musty. The atmosphere was so gloomy that if someone told me it was the entrance to the underworld, I would believe them, and it sent a slow chill to the pit of my stomach--

"Oooh!!!! An-chan!!!! It's been a while, hasn't it!!!!"

At the explosive loud voice (noise), I flinched and hunched my shoulders.

I looked at the reception, and the bearded man, who looked like nothing but a gangster, had an unfitting smile spilling from his lips.

"It's been a while, Tetsu-san. It's been quite some time, hasn't it?"

Hoshimiya waved casually. She was presenting a card that looked like a membership card.

"Yeah, about three months? What've you been up to, An-chan?"

"A lot of things in my environment changed, and I had a sore throat for two or three weeks. But it's better now, so don't worry."

"Your body is your capital. Take care of it. Alright, use number four."

The tough-looking man said, waving his hand. I followed Hoshimiya, who said "Thank you" and headed to the back, fearfully giving a nod as I passed. Sunglasses Rukina followed silently.

We went down the hallway, turned at the end, and a rugged door with a large "Four" written on it came into view. Hoshimiya opened it without any hesitation and finally took off her disguise after entering.

"...It's spacious. What is this place?"

A rectangular space easily exceeding twenty tatami mats. The four sides were covered with wooden walls, which had many small holes. I thought it looked familiar, and then I realized it was like the school's music room. It might be soundproofed.

The only other things were five electrical outlets. Some seemed to be three-pronged, not two. Then, an air conditioner, a ventilation fan, and lighting. That was really it.

It's a relief that there's little noise, but even in my house, which is prepared for the end, there are shoji screens, a stove, and lights. What on earth is Hoshimiya planning to do in this warehouse-like space?

"Tsukishiro. Bring the carry case over here."

As instructed, I moved the carry case to the spot Hoshimiya indicated. Rukina, who had thrown off her headwear disguise, crawled over, opened it, and started rustling through its contents.

"Hey Hoshimiya. What's 'An-chan'?"

"Mm, ah. That. I can't reveal that I'm Hoshimiya Miyuki in a place like this, so I'm in disguise, right? So from his perspective, our identities are unknown. Unknown. That's why, An-chan."

"Huh? Didn't you show him something like a membership card?"

"That thing's just for show. It has the name An-chan written on it."

Hoshimiya fluttered the card from before at me. It was written in a bold hand. It must have been that old guy.

"Hmm. So you're a regular here."

"Well, yeah. For about three years now. I was practically living here at one point."

"Eh, what about your acting career?"

"In the beginning, I wasn't that busy, and even when I started appearing in dramas, it's not like I had absolutely no time. Three hours is enough to get things done. Around the time I won the Best Actress award, I was coming less often, though."

In other words, this was something she wanted to do so much she would make time for it amidst her busy entertainment career. Something she desired even after obtaining the highest level of fame. That is what is about to happen here.

"What do you think we'll do?"

"I have no idea."

I replied, half-irritated, to Hoshimiya who was asking with a grin.

I glanced over and saw Rukina, as usual, silently working on something.

A folding desk was assembled, and a laptop was set on top of it. From there, multiple cables extended like they were on a critical patient. Each one was connected to a black, rugged machine, headphones, and a microphone. And the mic was rectangular, a so-called condenser microphone often used by rock singers.

In my mind, two scenes surfaced.

One was Rukina's room, a familiar sight recently. The familiar laptop and cluttered cords made it easy to guess that DTM was about to take place.

The other was a scene I had seen in a music show documentary or something.

The sight of a famous singer, wearing headphones, pouring their voice into the microphone in front of them. It was the recording scene from a show that followed how a certain song came into the world.

These memories mixed together, and the conclusion drawn was.

"...Are you going to sing? Using such professional equipment."

"I told you, didn't I? I love to sing."

Grunt, grunt. Hoshimiya warmed up, loosening her whole body.

"I'd really like to charge for this, but I'll show you for free as a special treat."

Suddenly, Rukina silently gave a thumbs-up. Apparently, the preparations were complete.

While I was taken aback, Hoshimiya elegantly swept up her brown short hair and put on her headphones. The gesture was as beautiful as if cut from a movie.

She attached her smartphone next to the mic. Probably to see the lyrics.

Soon, her head began to nod in small movements. She must be getting the rhythm. I couldn't hear it, but it seemed the song had already started playing in her headphones.

Hoshimiya took a breath through her glossy lips, and began to sing.

"'--On this gouged-out, desolate land, who will sow the seeds for me?'"

"--!?"

Lyrics I've heard. The melody. It's Hoshimiya Rukina's--Danshari D's new song, "Hakoniwa UTOPIA."

The voice. That singing voice, as clear as a blue sky spun by Hoshimiya, carried my consciousness away.

"'There's no guarantee they'll sprout. There's no way such an eccentric exists, right?'"

I've heard it before. No, it's ingrained in my ears.

A voice quality as clear as the summer air, yet one that earnestly brings forth a sense of tragedy.

It's the singer I like so much I could say she's the only one, Hahyuu herself.

"'Everyone just follows the leader. Everyone is, after all, just a puppet. They have nothing in their hands, yet they're satisfied.'"

Like a spokesperson. An agent conveying to the world the anguish spun by Rukina, using scales and rhythm as a medium. The mystical and shadowy singing voice breathed into the machine seemed to have directly converted strong negative emotions into sound,

"'--Why?'"

"H-hey-!! Hoshimiya!!"

I couldn't help but shout. Rukina's shoulders jumped with a start, and Hoshimiya, with a loud click of her tongue, took off one side of her headphones and glared at me with contemptuous eyes.

"...What? I think you're seriously not reading the room right now."

"B-but, eh? Hoshimiya, are you Hahyuu?"

"...Huh, starting from there? Didn't you hear from Rukina?"

"N-no, Rukina said she doesn't DM with Hahyuu or anything..."

"Eh? Well, yeah, we're sisters. It's not like we'd go out of our way to communicate online..."

Hoshimiya and I looked at Rukina at the same time.

"...Surprise. Are you surprised?"

Rukina covered her mouth and laughed. It was a joyful smile, as if to say her prank was a success.

"I'm surprised... of course."

"Nice one, Rukina. So, how about it, Tsukishiro? You're happy, right?"

"I'm surprised."

"Just say you're happy. Honestly, you."

Hoshimiya snorted as if exasperated.

It was so shocking that if I expressed it honestly, I wouldn't be able to stop.

Anyone would be excited to meet a favorite actor or singer in person. The more you like them, the more explosive the shock would be. There's no way I wouldn't be happy.

But. I couldn't say it out loud.

I don't know why, but I felt like I shouldn't admit it.

"Your voice is different, isn't it? Between your normal voice and when you sing."

So I half-forcefully changed the subject.

"I change my voice when I sing. My manager told me to make sure I'm never found out."

"...Well, your persona is different. ...Why do you go so far to be an utaite?"

It's a genuine question. Even I know that being a popular actress is hard work. I don't understand the meaning of cramming that activity into a hectic daily life where even your privacy is restricted.

"Hmm... well, you see, I want to leave behind proof that I lived."

The answer that came back was heavier than I imagined, yet it didn't have a tragic sound.

"Like, 'I lived here!' you know? After all, a life that just ends when you die is lonely. ...So that's why I challenged myself with various things like being an actress and an utaite. Being an utaite is especially good. The culture of Dorothy is really amazing. That's a new form of entertainment."

Hoshimiya spoke in a way that was as elusive as a cloud.

Seeing that I didn't quite get it, Hoshimiya continued as if to enlighten me.

"With manga characters, if the author doesn't continue the story, their life ends there, right? There are a lot of cancellations. But when you think about it, there isn't much entertainment that continues because fans breathe life into it by making songs, drawing illustrations, and even writing fan fiction, right?"

I see, I thought. There might be some truth to that.

Entertainers and band members are nothing without the actual person, and even VTubers wearing a 2D skin are dependent on the performer. If the person inside stops their activities, their existence can't be maintained even if they have fans.

On the other hand, while Dorothy has a software sales company, it's the fans themselves who are continuously creating the next content.

In other words, it's the activities of countless fans that give life to Dorothy.

"So I'm also becoming a piece that connects the eternal life called Dorothy. I sing, a kid who admired that starts singing, and someone else comes to like that kid... isn't that kind of nice?"

Now, if the utaite 'Hahyuu' releases her voice into the electronic sea, tens of thousands of fans will rejoice. It's on a scale where such a chain reaction wouldn't be surprising.

...Hoshimiya thinks about amazing things.

The girl smiling cheerfully in front of me, with that straightforward passion, as an actress and an utaite-- an entertainer, just how many people's hearts has she moved?

And then.

"...That's why. I'm envious of Dorothy."

I was taken aback by her strangely heated, wavering voice.

"...Envious?"

At the sudden disappearance of her joyful expression, I could only parrot her words back.

At my reply, Hoshimiya laughed as if snapping back to her senses.

"It's nothing. ...Right. Rukina. Since we're at it, let's sing that."

As if to cover it up, Hoshimiya placed her palm on Rukina's head.

"...Eh. But, that one is."

"It's fine, isn't it? Since we've come this far, let's show him everything. I want to see this guy vomit from being too happy."

Hoshimiya cackled. Rukina's earlier smile was nowhere to be seen. Although she showed a slightly reluctant face, she clattered away on the computer and pulled out the headphone jack connected to the amp.

The accompaniment, which I hadn't been able to hear until now, echoed throughout the room.

It was a bright and light song, with a smooth synthesizer as the main instrument. The tempo wasn't that fast, and the first thing it reminded me of was an idyllic nursery rhyme.

All malice vanished from Hoshimiya's face.

With a dazzling smile like a toddler before a feast, she spun her singing voice, looking truly happy from the bottom of her heart.

"I always believed that the happy days would last forever"

"We watched the changing seasons together, didn't we"

"Even if we're not in the same place, we can still look at the same sky"

Looking up!!

"Look up and see, the shining sun. Believe in yourself and move forward"

"Happiness is waiting there for you, there's nothing to be afraid of"

"Even if God is mean to us, in a reborn future"

"I'll show you I can meet you once again"

"At some point, I realized that sad days would come too"

"But at times like that, if you sing loudly, it should become fun"

"Let's bang on the desk, make the tea bowls ring, and play a clumsy song"

Looking up!!

"Look up and see, a beautiful future. Parting is not a sad thing"

"It's the secret spice of reunion, so don't cry anymore"

"Even if God is mean to us, in a reborn future"

"I'll show you I can meet you once again"

"The future is shining in lapis lazuli!!"

--Hah, Hoshimiya exhaled. She took a sip of green tea from the plastic bottle.

"So? Tsukishiro. This is an unreleased song."

To be honest, it was a song where you could feel some clumsiness here and there.

I felt like the sounds didn't quite mesh, and the rhythm was somewhat disjointed. I'm not well-versed in that kind of specialized knowledge, but still, I couldn't shake off a slight sense of unease. It was like a song a beginner made for the first time.

But that had no correlation with the song's magnificence. Its power to appeal to the heart was on a different level.

Her clear voice matched the song incredibly well.

"The memorable song that Rukina and I made together for the first time. You're the first person in the world to hear it."

Hoshimiya tucked her hair behind her ear, watching for my reaction.

"Ah, yeah, what is it? Why don't you release this one?"

"Because this one is special."

It was Rukina who answered instead.

Her profile, faintly tinged with melancholy, spoke as she sat flat on the floor.

"I can hear this song. That's why I can keep on living."

She let me listen to a song so special and important, even if it was at Hoshimiya's suggestion. It seems that to her, I'm in a position where she would consider whether it's okay to let me listen.

"...'Music is amazing.' My sister said that. So, I started with Dorothy too."

"Is that so?"

"Other than this song. I've only made songs that throw my unpleasant feelings at the world. This is an exception. This one alone, I made with pure enjoyment. From the bottom of my heart, it was fun."

If that's the case, then this song is the origin of Danshari D. Now, her style is to violently play out dark emotions and cold sentiments, but her start was a bright song that spoke of hope.

"I got stuck with the name Danshari D, and Rukina's songs were all dark, so at first I wondered what to do. But I figured it's best for Rukina to do what she wants."

Hoshimiya placed her palm on Rukina's head. Rukina, for her part, had a smug look on her face, as if to say "hmph."

"Both Hahyuu and Danshari D. This song, where we both think of each other, was the reason we were able to climb this far. Well, for sisters like us, it's only natural."

"Mm. This is synergy. My sister and I are an invincible duo."

They smiled cheerfully at each other.

And then.

From them, a beautiful, single note was struck.

The single notes overlapped. Their friendly smiles became a duet that resounded in the soundproof room.

It was a strange sound, one I was hearing for the first time yet felt nostalgic.

The fresh tones played by Hoshimiya and Rukina unavoidably overlapped with the poor yet dazzling days when I lived with my mom.

That was it.

Back then, such beautiful chords were sounding twenty-four seven.

Not just from Mom. From the tablet I played MobaPane on, from my rhythmically tapping fingers, and above all from myself, various sounds were being emitted and overlapping.

Because they resonated and enveloped me in a pleasant harmony.

That's why I was able to live with a smile.

Eventually, the sisters' tone faded away, leaving only a lingering, reluctant echo.

It was a perfect chord that shook the soul, like the finale of an orchestra.

--Ah,

it was as if warm water had been poured into my empty heart.

It was a tremendous sense of satisfaction. This was what I had been looking for.

The memory that had unexpectedly connected with the present became so dear that I found my thoughts drifting to the crystal necklace. And soaked in that sentiment, I touched my mother's memento.

And then.

I felt like my skull had been shot through.

Flashing through my mind like a revolving lantern were the heat-hazy days accompanied by pain. Mom sleeping in the ICU. The curse of a centipede-like scar. The rehab that tortured my unmoving right arm. The nursing that smelled of excrement. Mom's flesh gradually wasting away. The stopped electrocardiogram. The smoke of incense. A perfectly white face. Jet black clothes. The sound of rain and mud.

The many memories (noise) flickering like flames asked me in unison.

"Are you going to be satisfied with a substitute, and live on blissfully by yourself?"

Instantly.

The noise spread like ripples.

The recording equipment. The perforated board walls. And then, a black vibration swallowed up Hoshimiya Miyuki and Hoshimiya Rukina. I could no longer hear their voices. It looked like they were laughing at something, but I couldn't understand what they were saying. It was like a radio off its frequency.

Because I had been soaking in a lukewarm, sweet place for these past three months, I had almost forgotten.

This was the correct tone.

This was the scenery of one who is hated by the world.

I. Smiled a small, a truly small, smile.

--Ah, this world is as noisy as ever.