For a long time now, I've been able to hear all sorts of sounds.
From old, sun-scorched, faded signs. From the profile of a female student, looking happy to be at school in her new clothes. Even from the cigarette butts lying on the school route.
Everything made its own unique sound.
At some point, they all became noise.
But it wasn't that the world hated me.
It was just that they became noise because I myself had cut them off, not wanting to be involved.
"Everyone, thanks for coming today!! Is your future (today) a happy one?"
A life-sized hologram of Hoshimiya Miyuki is waving with an innocent smile to the arriving fans.
This line should have been pre-programmed text, but she's speaking it with the utmost fluency.
Today is a large-scale live event celebrating the 10th anniversary of "Hoshimiya Miyuki -to the happy future-". The venue is the Nippon Budokan. Its capacity is 14,000 people. For an event held solo by a later Dorothy character, this is one of the largest scale.
"...I knew it would be, but this scale is amazing."
I murmur sentimentally from the staff passageway, watching the crowd of people, denser and larger than a packed train, being guided along in a throng.
I am, for the record, the originator of the "Hoshimiya Miyuki" project. I haven't been involved in its management since the launch, but I was invited by the general manager, Mr. Azekura Kouichi, for this commemorative 10th-anniversary event.
"Not yet. I'll have Miyuki take the top spot. I can't be satisfied with this level. The number of viewers for the VR live stream is less than 100,000. Eventually, she'll have to move people in the millions."
That ambitious reply was Mr. Azekura's.
Compared to ten years ago, the proportion of his white hair has increased considerably, making one feel the passage of time, but the sharpness of his gaze and his powerful way of speaking hadn't changed. No, if anything, they might have grown.
"...Ah, excuse me for a moment."
I noticed a call from a team member at the game company where I work. I put a little distance between myself and Mr. Azekura and answered the phone, leaning my back against the passage wall.
"Ah, Chief Tsukishiro, hello! Sorry to call on a Sunday."
"Haha, a bit late for that, isn't it? So, what's up?"
"Ah, um, it's about that matter..."
...That matter, huh. When it comes to "that matter" with this subordinate, there's only one thing that comes to mind.
"--I'm happy to report we're officially dating!!"
"Oh, congratulations! Wow, I'm happy for you. That's great, that's great."
"I wanted to tell you first, Chief Tsukishiro, since you listened to me so much!! Well then, excuse me!!"
The call ended. His sound had changed, as if it were bouncing.
"A work call?"
"No, it was, how should I put it, a happy conversation."
"That's good," Mr. Azekura said as he popped a mint tablet into his mouth.
"Mr. Azekura... I know it's late, but thank you. For Miyuki."
"Again? You say that every time we meet."
"Do I? Even so, it's been about three years. It's fine, isn't it?"
"Haha. You are a sensitive one."
Mr. Azekura gave a crumpled smile. It was a smile etched with wrinkles appropriate for his age.
"There's no reason for you to thank me. I smelled the scent of money on you kids. You used me to grant Hoshimiya Miyuki's wish. I'll say it as many times as it takes. That's all it is."
"You say that, but I heard almost none of the money went to you, Mr. Azekura."
"...It's a long-term investment. In fact, I've received a request from a famous Hollywood film director to produce a song for a movie. Of course, this is because the launch of 'Miyuki' was highly evaluated."
"You're not very honest, are you?"
As we were having a chat for the first time in a while, a staff member prompted us to enter.
Mr. Azekura and I headed to the live venue through the staff passageway.
General admission hadn't started yet, and the spacious venue was enveloped in a strange silence.
A stage was set up in the center of the venue so that all four sides of seating could be used, but no one was there yet, and only the production smoke was rising quietly.
On the other hand, the space overhead was as brilliant as could be. Countless illustrations and movies of Miyuki that had swelled over the past ten years were drifting in the air as holograms. It was as if I had wandered into a revolving lantern. Everywhere was filled with those MVs and single illustrations I had seen at least once.
It was truly a festival.
As I was captivated by the heart-shaking production, Mr. Azekura tapped me on the back.
"Tsukishiro-kun. You can enjoy it later. First should be greetings."
"Ahaha, I haven't grown, have I?"
The reason I came to the venue even though there was still time before the live show started was because I was asked to show my face as the originator to the people managing this event. It makes me feel apologetic to receive such grand treatment, but still, if it's a request from Mr. Azekura, there's no reason to refuse.
The person in charge of this event, the person in charge of ticket sales, the person in charge of venue construction, the performer who dances as the person inside "Miyuki" (motion actor), the lighting technician-- I shook hands with more people than I could remember, and then.
I also shook hands with that blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman.
"I'm Hoshimiya Rukina, in charge of sound. Nice to meet you."
"Saying 'nice to meet you' is strange, isn't it? ...Please take care of things today."
The head of the sound staff, Hoshimiya Rukina.
At the young age of twenty-six, she is a woman active on the front lines as the person in charge of sound-related matters for various events and games, starting with live concerts, related to the "Hoshimiya Miyuki" business.
The team Mr. Azekura, who doesn't do anything that doesn't make money, put together has no shortage of young talents, but even so, her position could be called a major promotion.
"Watching from the audience is nice, but. I'm more suited to being backstage."
She smiled bewitchingly.
Her jewel-like, lapis-colored eyes were without a single speck of dullness.
"Yeah. Do your best. I'm looking forward to it."
It was about ten minutes until showtime.
The seats arranged to surround the stage were almost all filled, and the space was filled to the brim with the buzz of expectation and excitement. Everyone's eyes were shining, eagerly awaiting the moment.
I could see several people reaching out their hands to the MVs and illustrations of Miyuki swimming in the air, screaming with excitement.
And then, behind Mr. Azekura and me in the front-row staff seats, the general audience members finally arrived.
"Whoa, great seats. Oh, by the way, do you know who Miyuki's model is?"
"Model? What do you mean?"
"The voice model. The person whose voice became the base for Miyuki's."
"Eh, Dorothy is made from a human's voice!?"
Two fans who came up right behind us were talking about that.
It felt like a conversation I'd had about ten years ago.
"And, that model was a former actress who already died, and her name was 'Hoshimiya Miyuki.' So Dorothy's Miyuki is, like, seriously inheriting that actress's soul."
"Huh. I didn't know that. That's super emotional."
"By the way, she helped me once when I was lost as a kid."
"That's a lie."
"It's not a lie!! She was super nice!!"
I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
Thanks to Miyuki, Miyuki's existence will be passed down, and eventually, even to a generation of children born after Miyuki departed this world, the proof of her life and her feelings will be clearly conveyed through her singing voice.
With 14,000 people gathered at the Nippon Budokan, I couldn't help but have expectations for that future.
Eventually, it was time for the show to start.
Fwoop, all the lights went out. Plunged into sudden darkness, the audience's voltage boiled over from that alone. The screams filled with expectation surpassed their peak-- and just before. Light exploded. Sound burst forth. The intense intro of "Ruri-iro FUTURITY," a famous song among Miyuki's many, composed by Danshari D, shook the venue. In sync, colorful, blinking lines of light raged about.
Immediately after, several deformed, angel-like Miyukis flew out and began to zip freely around the venue. The venue exploded. Everyone lit their handheld light sticks to the colors of their feelings and waved them in time with the rhythm.
And then, just before the A-melody, the angels flying through the air dived into the stage located in the center of the venue. A wild dance of light like fireworks burst, and Miyuki, with a starry sky on her back, descended.
"We're going all out from the start!! Towards a blue, shining future!! 'Ruri-iro FUTURITY'!!!!"
WHOOOA--!!!! a cheer went up. I was swallowed by the torrent of sound and light, and my mind went blank. The goosebumps wouldn't go away. Before I knew it, I was waving my light stick single-mindedly. I screamed so much during the call and response that my throat felt like it would tear. Suddenly, I felt a tear run down my cheek.
--Hey, can you hear me, Miyuki?
Everyone jumped on cue. When Miyuki swung her arms to the rhythm, the wave of light sticks swayed in the same way. Every time it moved to the next song, people would appear here and there, getting excited with the person next to them, perhaps because it was the song they were waiting for.
--The way you lived your life has been passed down even to a future like this.
After that, famous songs sung by Miyuki came rushing in like a flood. Thirty percent of the setlist was Danshari D. In between songs, Mr. Azekura whispered to me with a wry smile, "I really wanted to vary the composers more, but there were too many hit songs."
Danshari D's music has also grown significantly over these ten years. The dark and cruel lyrics that were once a characteristic have been sublimated into a straightforward passion that doesn't run from the darkness of humanity, and the musical style, which can even be described as dark and bewitching, has now become a genre in itself.
Miyuki sang out loud the songs (feelings) of such Danshari D, up-and-coming young D's, to veteran D's. Each time, the venue heated up, sometimes moved to tears, and time passed as souls were shaken.
And then, it finally came to the last song.
The live show was about two hours long. But to me, it felt like both an instant and like ten years.
"Everyone, thank you for today!! This live show is possible thanks to all of you letting me sing, and all of you listening to my songs!! Thank you so much!!"
When the giant Miyuki waved innocently, an explosive cheer erupted.
She waited for the venue's voltage to settle down for a moment, then continued as if savoring her words.
"I couldn't have reached this point alone. It's thanks to all of my fans. But, to put it a little unkindly, it probably wouldn't have been reached with everyone's power alone either."
The venue, which had been so lively, fell silent.
Everyone was eagerly awaiting Miyuki's next words.
"To all the staff who worked hard behind the scenes to make this live show happen, to all the project members who have run alongside me since the day I was born until today. --And,"
Miyuki smiled faintly, ephemerally.
It seemed like an expression I had seen an awful lot.
It was the very smile of a certain girl I once spent time with.
"And, ten years ago. If you, who strove to create me, hadn't been there, this scenery could not have been created."
With a voice as if embracing love itself.
"Thank you. I am very happy right now."
At the human warmth dwelling in Miyuki, a tear traced its way down from my eye.
"Because you ran without giving up. Because you moved forward even when you were discouraged. You, who shone brighter than anyone, looked to me like a pure crystal, more beautiful than anything. I will now sing those feelings."
Gasp. Without even trying to hide my tear-streaked face, I looked at Mr. Azekura.
Mr. Azekura nodded with a satisfied smile, as if to say, "I've done it."
"This song isn't strictly Miyuki's (my) song. But, I thought that to adorn the end of this commemorative 10th-anniversary live, there could be no other song. It's the first time I'll be singing it live, but will everyone listen?"
At Miyuki's question, the venue screamed loud enough to seem like the stage would break.
Everyone understood. The song that was about to be sung.
And on top of that, all of them accepted it.
I could no longer keep my head up. I sank into my seat and cried, hiding my face as I looked down.
--Don't get so emotional. Honestly, you're still such an idiot.
Suddenly, I thought I heard such an exasperated voice. Surely, she was laughing cheerfully as she said it. That's the kind of girl she was. It was a nostalgic, sweet tone.
"Well then, the last song. Please listen. A precious song for a precious person. The title is-- 'Okusen CRYSTAL' (A Billion CRYSTALS)"
Though no one should have coordinated it, the light sticks were unified in a gentle white.
The numerous lights twinkling and swaying in the dimness were just like a billion starry skies.
I felt an unbearable affection for the jewel fitted on my left ring finger, and I gently stroked it.
The today she had looked forward to was overflowing with more light than I could have imagined.
And that light will probably continue to resonate far into the future-- even beyond when the stars have died out.
Ah.... Reach her. Please, reach her.
This scenery. This sound. --Everything about the future.
To that girl, who once shone brighter than anyone.
"--It's reaching me."
The electronic girl sings.
Suddenly, our eyes met.
She returned the smile I love the most.
--Thank you. I am very happy right now.
Miyuki's words refrain.
Those are my lines, though.
"Thank you, too. --I'm also living happily now."
◇◇◇
One more thing.
In the story of Tsukishiro Ikki, there is a moment that must be told.
A single measure that rang out dazzlingly amidst the tone of life that can be played forever.
Let's turn back time a little.
◇◇◇
It was an April evening that made one feel the faint cheer of spring.
A little less than a year after Miyuki passed away. While on my way home from the vocational school I attended, I was climbing the outer staircase of my 75,000-yen-rent apartment, thinking idle thoughts about how the days had gotten longer.
Since this spring, while attending vocational school, I've been working part-time as a debugger for a game in development. I'm making connections there, and I hope to eventually get a job at a game company, so it's a daily grind of studying.
"I'm home-"
The moment I got home, I stopped the music and took off my earphones. What I was listening to was, of course, a new song by Hoshimiya Miyuki. It's now my daily routine to go around listening to new songs someone has posted.
Despite it being only half a year since its release, several hundred songs using Miyuki have already been posted. If I don't do this, I can't possibly keep up. I didn't want to miss a single one of the many songs with completely different melodies and lyrical atmospheres that Miyuki was singing.
From the small room next to the entryway, Rukina popped her head out and said, "...Welcome back."
Her silky blonde hair, which used to be grown out freely, was now settled above her shoulders. The slightly more mature sixteen-year-old wore a beauty that was in no way inferior to that of the Miyuki of the past.
The condominium where I once lived with the Hoshimiya sisters was sold off shortly after Miyuki's death. Not only that, but her inheritance was donated in full to Tsubame-en and to an organization that supports children without parents. So currently, we're covering our living expenses with Rukina's video revenue and my part-time job wages.
"...Ikki."
"Sorry, can you wait a minute?"
I tossed my bag into my room and sat seiza-style in front of a small wooden box in the living room.
I opened the outward-swinging doors. Inside were Miyuki's portrait, candles, and various other Buddhist altar fittings. It's what you call a compact butsudan. Mom's necklace was also there, making a quiet sound along with them.
"Miyuki. Mom. This is amazing. A Miyuki song apparently finally hit number one on the weekly karaoke chart."
As I put my hands together and reported this, Rukina cut in beside me.
"Hmph. But I met her first."
"Hahaha. I wanted to report to you two first. Don't be sulky."
"Hmph. I already reported it."
"Ah, you little brat."
Sticking her tongue out with a "bleh," Rukina ran away. She jumped right onto the sofa.
"By the way, Ikki. ...Did you listen?"
Without any preamble, Rukina asked me that. I wonder if she means a new Miyuki song.
"Um, which song? Was there one that stuck out to you?"
"...No. It's not a Miyuki song."
As she spoke, Rukina turned on the projector. Her synced PC screen was projected onto the white wall. The desktop background was the two-shot of Miyuki and Rukina we took that day.
I closed the butsudan and sat down next to her as she fiddled with her laptop.
Rukina opened YouTube and started searching for a song title.
The title was-- "Okusen CRYSTAL" (A Billion CRYSTALS). The song title felt familiar.
"Oh, a new song by Danshari D? Since when?"
"The composition is by me. But I hardly used Dorothy, and the lyrics aren't by me either."
"Eh? A collaboration? Then who..."
As if to answer my question, Rukina opened the video's description box.
Instantly, my brain cells froze.
Because I had found that name: Hoshimiya Miyuki.
"R-Rukina, what is this?"
"Hmph. To explain it would be uncouth. It's all written there."
As she said that, Rukina handed me the mouse.
With a trembling hand, I scrolled the description box. In the space that would normally be for the video's explanation or other promotions, it was written.
A message from Hoshimiya Miyuki, transcending time.
"--Since when were you under the illusion that Hahyuu had retired?"
"Just kidding. Hello, this is Hahyuu, also known as Hoshimiya Miyuki. Well now, how are you doing, you who are looking at this description? Me? I should be dead (lol)"
"If I were alive, I should have turned 20 today. I've dreamed of becoming an adult since I was little. Since I knew from a young age that I wouldn't live long because of my illness, I really wanted to become an adult."
"So, I've set my final post as Hahyuu for this day. ...Huh? Did the age of adulthood change to 18? Oh well (lol)"
"Well, I think it was a continuous stream of surprises, with Hahyuu's identity being Hoshimiya Miyuki, the Dorothy's release being announced, and on top of that, me dying right after. I'm sorry for putting you through all that."
"Well, because of that, I thought about various things and found various answers. Wanting to leave behind my thoughts and a message, with death right before my eyes, I made this song in cooperation with Danshari D."
"I don't know if death is necessarily a misfortune, but there are so many things you can only do while you're alive. So, please do what you must do, and grow one step at a time."
"If you do that, someone will be watching. You will surely be rewarded. The future will become a happy one. Believing that, please live on in this wonderful world. Of course, I will be cheering for you forever."
"Finally, thank you so much for everything up until now. You allowed me to see so many dreams. And from now on, Miyuki will deliver her singing voice by your side in my place, so I ask for your continued patronage."
Beside me, who was too surprised to even blink, Rukina said with a delighted expression.
"Hehe. My sister's, scheduled post. I've been waiting for this day for so long."
"Scheduled post...?"
"Mm. So it would be released on the day my sister was supposed to turn twenty."
In other words, today is Miyuki's birthday. I didn't know. Last year-- I, who was supposed to be living with her, what on earth was I doing? I could check my diary app, but I surely must have spent the day without even thinking about her birthday.
It was all probably to make today a surprise.
Even enduring not having her last birthday celebrated.
What an idiot, I thought, as I clicked the video's play button.
After a moment of loading, a song eventually began to play in the living room.
The rustling, brilliant and gentle sounds of brass instruments and bells, as if stars were dancing down. A piano melody that evokes poignancy. And on the screen, a simple picture of a crystal is displayed.
When that song began, what floated into my mind was the back of a certain girl I was once tied to.
"Tomorrow, I wonder what time you'll wake up. You were probably up late again, right?"
"Were you listening to music? Were you playing games? Or maybe, were you thinking about me?"
"Hey, stop going back to sleep after you've woken up. Eat your breakfast quickly."
"It's sunny outside, I want to go play. Next time, I wonder what kind of scenery you'll show me."
"Let's gaze at a billion stars and laugh together!!"
"Each and every sparkle makes a beautiful night sky."
"It's fine if the light is weak, isn't it? Just because you can't see it, it's definitely there."
"Surely, someone will find it."
"So that at that time, its radiance is not lost."
"I can never say good morning again, can I? It's lonely, but this isn't the end."
"I am thinking of you, and your sound is reaching me too."
"It's hard, but I'll only forgive you for cheating once. Find a wonderful person, okay?"
"But still, don't forget me. Someday, I want you to tell me fun stories."
"So it won't fade even after a billion years have passed."
"Let's build it up one by one, and grow little by little."
"It's fine to get discouraged along the way, isn't it? As long as you don't give up and can move forward slowly."
"Surely, someday it will shine brightly."
"Like a crystal that waits for that time, and continues to grow."
"Don't end with just one sparkle."
"Because you can become the person who shines the brightest."
"We gazed at a billion stars and laughed, didn't we?"
"Each and every memory is a treasure that will never disappear."
"It's fine to cry a lot, isn't it? Because if I'm next to you, I can smile after all."
"Because thanks to you, I am happy, and I can make sounds forever."
"May this song resonate for eternity."
"Thank you, to you who were by my side."
"Thank you."
The lingering sound of the synthesizer, like twinkling stars, eventually stopped.
The tears wouldn't stop.
I felt like she had been watching over me.
For about a year since she passed away. I worked recklessly hard.
I found a new dream and continued to run towards it with all my might.
I felt like she had acknowledged all of it.
It was painful. It was lonely. I had put on such a brave face for Miyuki, but after all, a world without her was so quiet, with a somewhat sad sound, and I couldn't help but miss her unbearably.
But this effort was not a mistake.
Miyuki, too, had hoped to see me move forward step by step, even while struggling. Now, that fact is unbearably dear to me.
And above all.
She told me that being by my side made her happy.
"I recorded it in secret from you, Ikki. When you were at your ramen job or sleeping. Because of that, my sleep schedule got a little nocturnal, though."
"...,"
"The lyrics, just the part about cheating, used Dorothy's Miyuki. I'm sure you noticed, Ikki. That part, I changed the lyrics at the last minute. Because a certain someone went and made an unexpected proposal."
"My sister couldn't have produced a satisfactory singing voice at that time," Rukina added,
"The original lyrics were. 'Is it cowardly to say 'I want to be with you' at this point? Just kidding, just kidding, you should look forward.' But after getting married, she said she had to change them. My sister, she was so, so happy."
It was an unbearably gentle sound.
One by one, as if teaching a small child by hand and foot, Rukina smiled and continued.
"My sister, when the song was finished, she was smiling. I think she was probably watching your face right now, Ikki."
Miyuki cannot see my future. Because she has already seen my death, which will come in seventy years.
But she can see Rukina's.
So Miyuki, through Rukina's future, was watching my crying face.
"She was smiling, a lot."
Rukina said, while stroking my head,
"She was crying, but she was smiling. Happily."
I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The pride-like thing that had been holding me back at the last minute burst. As Rukina, her eyes moist, stroked my head, I cried out as if to gather up the overflowing love.
I sometimes think that Miyuki's future sight might be a power bestowed upon her by her circumstances.
That it might have been born from her anxiety about her own future, having been frail and having wandered the border of life and death several times.
Because she was the one who, from the fear of her own all-too-opaque future, a life she didn't know when would end, wished more strongly than anyone to see what lay ahead.
Miyuki told me that the future that came to such a girl was "happiness."
I feel the exact same way.
Because when something happy happens, the person I want to tell first of all is right here by my side.
Surely, that's all it takes.
Life is something that can shine with just that alone.
I continued to cry, thinking of my late wife.
While earnestly wishing that when I could meet her again someday, I could tell her countless stories with a smile.
For example, a tale of countless beautiful tones, like a billion crystals.
