The manuscript that had been stalled for so long was finally finished. I attached it and pressed the send button.
The phone rang immediately. I wonder how
many times I've repeated this exchange.
"Yes, hello."
"This is Fujiwara. Thank you for the
first draft. I'll check it over here."
"Please do."
It's been 10 years since I started writing
light novels.
Luckily, I won an award when I was a
student, and since then, I've been writing continuously without any time to
think. Of course, there were many times I hesitated, but I tried not to think
too much and just kept my pen moving.
"Just create. Put it out into the
world. If you're an amateur, it's fine to just play around with it in your own
hands, but if you're a professional, you must complete it properly and present
it to the world." Those are the words of my editor, Fujiwara-san, who has
been looking after me for a long time. I have continued to abide by them ever
since.
"Thank you for your hard work on the
recent matter."
I received words of appreciation from
Fujiwara-san. There was no explanation as to what, but it was probably about my
withdrawal from Clodis.
"No, I'm the one who... caused you
trouble."
In the end, it wasn't my decision alone. It
was a decision that involved Fujiwara-san as well. Because at that time, I no
longer had the ability to judge things calmly.
"I've done something presumptuous. But
I believe that project had reached its limit."
"...You're right."
I thought about many things. I agonized
over whether this decision was really the right one. Was it okay to throw away
something I had started, saying I would do it myself?
Above all, Hashiba had said it. That
completing it is what's important. Ironically, he held the same opinion as
Fujiwara-san, who had turned down this offer.
I wanted to do something, but I had reached
my limit with that project.
"I wanted to do something for
Hashiba's sake, but it's unfortunate."
Just as I said that.
A wry laugh leaked from the other end of
the phone.
"What's the matter?"
When I asked without thinking,
"No, it's just, I was thoroughly
reminded that you're someone who can't keep a secret, Sensei."
"............Huh?"
"You were watching the stream, weren't
you?"
With that one sentence, I understood
everything.
It's already been found out to that extent?
"Um, I, I'm sorry. I'll make sure it
doesn't affect this manuscript, so..."
"I know. As long as you promise, it's
fine. Besides..."
"Besides?"
On the other end of the phone, this time a
normal smile broke out.
"I was listening to the stream too,
and I found myself feeling envious. People who are trying to create something
have a certain charm... don't they?"
This time, it was my turn to laugh.
◆
When I tweeted, I wondered for a long time
if I should include a name, what I should do. In the end, I decided it would be
less trouble if I didn't include it, and I'm glad it got through properly.
"I'm really glad he showed some
motivation."
Kyouya-kun had helped me with the game and
with the illustrations for my art book, so I was thinking it would be sad if he
was disappointed by this cancellation.
But he still seems to be trying to make
something, which made me happy.
"...Though I have some apologizing to
do."
Three emails, two phone calls.
From the places that had asked me,
"Please let us know when you have work available!", I immediately got
replies saying, "The illustration that was decided on the stream, was that
you, Akishima-san!?", so I have to tell them, "That's not it, that
was decided a long time ago."
"Well, in reality, I decided at that
moment."
Kyouya-kun was an interesting person.
"Making things is fun, I'll keep doing
it forever," is hard to say for sure, but the fact that he said it so
clearly in front of so many people was fresh to me.
After an announcement like that, you'd
think he'd say he's taking a break for a while, or leaving the industry, and it
would be understandable if he did, but I never thought he'd say "I'm going
to make something new again" right then and there.
I was watching, thinking, "This is so
interesting!" and before I knew it, I had sent a RINE message.
I have no idea how busy it's going to get
from now on, or from when to when, but this much I can probably say for sure.
"Kyouya-kun will do something."
When deciding something important, I think
it's better to base it on such a simple reason. I think it will work out better
that way.
◆
"Um~! I'm really begging you, please
stop deciding on new jobs on your own like that~. I'm the one who gets a ton of
sarcastic remarks from the department head later~!"
"Why not? I mean, one job got
cancelled, so if I fill that spot with something else, there's no problem,
right?"
"It is a problem~! Because that job,
it doesn't even look like it'll turn into a real job!"
"True~. It might be an indie project.
Ah, in that case, maybe it would have been better to do it without going
through the agency!"
"Nana-san! I'm getting angry!"
"Just kidding, just kidding, sorry!
Well, I'll consult you if it looks like we can pull something from the previous
work, so Kyouka-chan, you explain it to the higher-ups~ thanks!"
"...Fiiine."
The call ended while she was still
muttering complaints. She complains a lot, but Kyouka-chan is a capable manager
one way or another, so I'm sure she'll handle it well. Yep.
However, I went and decided on a job on
impulse again. Kyouka-chan often tells me, but I'm just weak to momentum. When
someone tells me "I like you, I want to work with you!!", I feel like
I just say "I like you too!!" and take the job. I'm a pushover.
But there's a reason for that. People who
come to me saying, "I want to create something, and when I do, I want your
music!" seem to see the job through to the end. If it's the type of job
where they write a long proposal about marketing or what to do based on hit
works, the end part tends to get pretty sloppy, and it's easy to just say,
"Isn't that fine?"
Hashiba-san, or rather, it's unfair that
everyone calls him Kyouya or Kyouya-kun, but he's the type of person whose
passion to create just suddenly appears, and yet when the work actually
progresses, he becomes a capable progress manager, so it's reassuring.
Even so.
"That guy... he's nice, yeah."
I had the image of a kind big brother with
a nice voice, but after watching that stream, my heart skipped a beat. I mean,
I started to like him quite a bit. We're the same age, too. I'm interested.
"If he's not with Eiko yet, maybe I'll
try talking to him!"
◆
That day, work ended early, so I was out
drinking with a senior colleague from my old company. Then, as it happened, a
junior colleague from that same old company was going to be on Nico Nama, so we
ended up drinking sake while watching it on my senior's phone.
As a result,
"That guy, for a supposedly solemn
stream about cancelling production, he suddenly starts talking about himself,
and then he's like 'I'm gonna make a game now,' he's seriously nuts, for
real."
The senior I was drinking with got drunk
and nasty, just like this.
"But those words really resonated with
me. I'm not from a creative field, so I thought maybe I couldn't understand it
at its core, but it made me feel like 'I have to do it'."
Humans, they talk about logic and theory,
but when it comes to what speaks volumes in a public setting, it's how much you
can show you're serious. In that respect, I think it was a very effective
speech.
"Kojima, did you always have such a
romantic side?"
"If you're going to say that, haven't
you also suddenly turned into a hot-blooded old man, Miyamoto-san?"
My senior chokes on his words,
"Ngggh."
"...Well, that's his influence."
Yes, I really think so.
I was locked up in a grateful basement
where I could get money without working, and I was thinking of playing around
for about three years and then changing jobs, when suddenly a hot-blooded guy
like a drama protagonist came in, and he was surprisingly excellent, and I, and
Miyamoto-senpai in front of me, and my junior, and the department head, we all
got into it.
Well, that company itself was a mess, so in
the end, we couldn't achieve a major reform, but I believe that if that
hot-blooded kid had awakened earlier, the whole world might have been more
interesting.
"You were praising him too, weren't
you?"
Yes, that's right. Otherwise, I wouldn't be
moving around doing this and that.
"For now, it looks like our star
player is going to do something again, so as a behind-the-scenes person, let's
look forward to what he'll do next."
Miyamoto-senpai, his face quite flushed
with alcohol, nodded with a "ngh."
"Do your best, and this time, don't
get possessed by some crazy person..."
Mustering his last bit of strength, he
raised his nearly empty beer mug.
"Take care, Hashiba-kun."
We both raised our medium mugs and toasted
to our passionate junior's future.
◆
Hokkaido, Cape Nosappu. 4 a.m.
Of all places, I got a notification where
the internet connection is quite bad.
"That was an unexpected turn of
events. Hashiba, that was some brute courage."
I took a unilateral leave from the company
and took off without telling anyone. A classic move for this kind of trip is to
head either north or south, and since I was familiar with Kyushu, I decided on
Hokkaido.
So, I was driving, thinking of going to see
the Northern Territories or thereabouts, when the Wi-Fi at a diner near Kushiro
luckily caught the Nico Nama info.
So, I watched it.
After it was over, I didn't know what to
do, so I just went outside. Hokkaido is, of course, damn huge, and I couldn't
go back even if I wanted to, so I headed east as planned.
And now, I'm at Cape Nosappu. It was pitch
black and I couldn't see anything, so I decided to stick it out until morning,
see the ocean, and then head back.
"My pace has been thrown off
somehow."
I was thinking I could take a break from
game development for a while, and planned to rest for about half a year.
But that guy, who should have been having a
harder time than me, came at me with sparkling eyes like a student fresh out of
a vocational school's game production course, saying, "I'll do it
again!"
There was no way I wouldn't be inspired.
"Hashiba Kyouya, huh?"
He was a strange guy from the moment he
first arrived. I thought some shady guy with connections to Kawasegawa or the
Managing Director had shown up, but he turned out to be a hardcore, wonderful
idiot.
We made a game together while struggling,
cried and laughed, and became friends who bickered like we had been pals since
we were students.
He's a good guy, but there's something
mysterious about him, and I became earnestly, or rather constantly, possessed
by the same kind of fantasy.
That I wanted to spend my student days with
this guy.
This might sound creepy, but when I was a
student, I was invincible.
There were amazing people around me, but I
was confident I could easily surpass them, and I even had a vision that if we
created something together, it would be insane.
"Art university... he got in, didn't
he?"
But if Hashiba had been there back then, I
might not have had such firm confidence. He was that full of a mysterious
power.
"Project Grape, huh? Nice."
Many people had already pointed out that
after the initial peak of doujin games, the next wave would come.
The project they were leading, a
corporate-sponsored project, will surely become interesting in the next two or
three years.
"If nothing else had come up, I might
have done it too."
But.
To my dismay, that became a story that
would not come true.
"Damn it, to think she'd ask for
something like this..."
I reread the message from my former boss
that arrived on RINE.
"This is gonna cost you,
Kawasegawa."
Finally, the edge of the sea began to
brighten.
After seeing this, it's back to Tokyo
again. Gotta think about what to make next.
◆
On the monitor in front of me, a news site
is displayed.
The cancellation of Clockwork Destiny's
development. All at once, the malicious gossip sites are reporting BCC's
defeat, and there are many idiots who are jumping on the bandwagon and making a
fuss.
Unable to bear watching any longer, I
turned off the monitor's power.
The room became pitch black, and only the
emergency light by the window faintly illuminated it.
"He really is good at empty
agitation."
Surprisingly, if he aimed to be a
politician, he might get somewhere good.
"But didn't you feel a little envious
of that agitation?"
My former boss opened his mouth in the
darkened room.
"Though, you had theory to back up
that passion, so it's completely different."
"That's creepy. If you're going to
praise me, make it about something else, Horii-san."
He had visited just before that infamous
livestream was about to begin.
Originally, I had no intention of watching.
I'd rather be working on something else than waste my time on that.
But since Horii-san insisted on watching, I
did.
"How was it?"
"A waste of time. I wish I hadn't
watched it."
I answered honestly, but Horii-san gave a
wry smile.
"I've been thinking for a long time
about why it turned out this way, Managing Director."
Horii-san stood up from his seat and
approached my desk.
"I won't rehash what happened back
then now, but I think that if the gears had meshed even a little differently,
there might have been a different future."
I knew what he wanted to say. But I didn't
say it myself.
"My pace was thrown off. It's a
problem. Listening to him talk like a student, I get the feeling that
everything I've built up is disappearing."
"That's just how much unfathomable
power he had."
Isn't that an overestimation, Horii-san?
I walk to the window and gaze at the night
cityscape.
The parts that humans lack. Loving
something because it's unnecessary.
Such nauseatingly sentimental words. Not my
cup of tea.
"To say things like 'I can't stop
loving it,' how he could say that without any shame."
I said it seriously, but Horii-san laughed
again.
"Be that as it may, is this okay? I
should have said that I alone am enough to take responsibility."
In tomorrow's weekly magazine, a financial
scandal concerning me will be reported.
The money I spread around to lay the
groundwork for the education business, and the money I strained to procure for
Misukuro—it seems the entire route was exposed.
Therefore, tomorrow morning I will hold a
press conference to announce my resignation. Horii-san has also said he will
resign his position in connection with this.
It was probably Ichikawa from BCC who
initiated the investigation. If she was waiting for me to move the money, then
I fell right into her trap.
"Because I, too, was involved in the
misappropriation of funds."
"You just knew about it. It's not like
you planned it."
When I said that, Horii-san gave a slightly
sad smile, just like he used to.
"Knowing and overlooking it is the
same crime, Kou-kun."
It was clear that he was implying something
else.
"...That's unfair, using my old name
only at times like this."
There are no do-overs in life.
My life, spent hating everything and
repeating despair and revenge, has come to a close for now.
◆
The publisher sent over sample images of
tomorrow's weekly magazine and hanging ads. I had already checked the contents,
so I told them to handle the rest.
With this, all of today's plans are
finished. I haven't finished cleaning my apartment, so maybe I'll cut things
short, rest, and wake up early tomorrow.
On the monitor, the screen from the Nico
Nama stream that Hashiba-kun and the others were doing is displayed. Only the
words "This stream has ended" stand out strangely.
I thought he was going to talk about the
development cancellation, but then he suddenly started talking about himself,
and while I was wondering what to do, he said he was quitting the company.
"I wish he'd consulted me
beforehand... is what I think."
After the stream ended, he came to me right
away and bowed his head so deeply, which was cute, so I decided to forgive him.
"After all, a kid chasing their dreams
is cute."
He was a capable kid, and I was even
thinking I'd like to transfer him to the head office as is, but if he says so
himself, well, I guess it can't be helped.
More than that, it's a shame that at this
rate, he might even move out.
If the president of the company you quit is
the property manager, it's bound to feel awkward to live there.
"What should I do? Maybe I'll get
ahead of him and buy the next apartment Kyouya-san moves into...?"
No, no, that's definitely stalking.
But I want to avoid a situation where we
have no relationship at all, so for now, maybe I'll take direct charge of
Project Grape and make sure we can stay in touch there.
"I'll just suddenly show up and say,
'I'm the other person in charge~'. Fufu."
A kid that interesting, I have no intention
of letting him go just yet.
◆
The day after finishing the Nico Nama
stream, I had packed a paper bag full of my belongings and was about to leave
the BCC building.
"Um, really, I can mail them to you
later, Hashiba-san."
Perhaps worried that it had gotten quite
heavy, Sakurai-san called out to me.
"It's fine. More importantly, thank
you so much for the Grape matter."
Sakurai-san put on her most determined
face.
"No! I'm newly motivated as well. I'll
show you I can make Project Grape properly!"
After I left, Sakurai-san would be
supporting Project Grape on her own. It's a heavy responsibility, but for her,
who is growing stronger by the day, I'm sure she'll be fine.
"But, even though you have the support
funds, you won't have a salary for a while. Are you really okay with
that?"
"It's fine. After all, I was at a
company where I didn't get paid for half a year. I'm used to that kind of
thing."
"I think it's better not to get used
to that..."
I thought he was absolutely right.
"Well, I'll contact you again once the
project is properly underway."
"Y-yes, I look forward to working with
you!"
Receiving Sakurai-san's deepest bow, I walk
through the morning city. I had been packing my things since the night, but
before I knew it, it had become morning.
"I wish I could have at least said
goodbye at the end... but I guess it can't be helped."
While I was bustling around packing,
Kawasegawa had left the company before I knew it, and I couldn't talk to her.
Well, we'll probably get the old Succeed
group together again sometime. It seems Miyamoto-san immediately created a RINE
group chat.
"Heave-ho," I say as I readjust
the bag, and I can't help but stumble to the left.
"It's pretty heavy."
I grabbed the handle firmly and managed to
start walking, albeit unsteadily.
My figure, staggering left and right as I
walked among the passing salarymen, was quite comical. Still, I finally managed
to reach the station and jumped onto the train that had just arrived.
Just as I breathed a sigh of relief, I
realized I had made a simple mistake.
"Ah, I made a mistake!"
I was supposed to get on the one for
Shinjuku, but I had mistakenly gotten on a train heading towards Tokyo.
Well, I probably won't be commuting to the
company for the time being, and anyway, the Yamanote Line will get you to your
destination station no matter which direction you take.
With that thought, I sank deep into my
seat. It was Friday. Being before noon, the train was a bit crowded, but not as
much as rush hour.
(It feels like a lie somehow.)
When I think back on everything that's
happened up to this point, it feels like a single story. From a
misunderstanding in Shinjuku, things have been in constant motion, and at the
center of it all was, unbelievably, me.
But now, being alone like this, I was on
the verge of being crushed by an indescribable anxiety. For all the cool talk I
had given, it was clear that there was nothing inside of me.
"Next is Akihabara, Akihabara."
The train announcement echoed. I naturally
stood up from my seat.
◇
I didn't even know why I got off myself. I
thought that if I came to this town, which I had frequented since long ago,
something might happen.
In the past, I used to come to this town
often. When a new game came out, I would check the shop's pre-order bonuses and
agonize over which one to choose. The same goes for new light novels and CDs.
Even in an age where digital media has become the norm, coming to a shop
somehow allowed you to experience something sparkling.
Behind the arcade, there was a shop I
always went to. My heart leaped, just a little. The posters and flyers
plastered all over the place bring back feelings.
But when I entered the store, my heart
shrank even more. There was no place for me in that glamorous world. The
feelings I had when I was a user were gone.
In truth, this is where the pre-order
announcements for Clodis should have been lined up. A poster made with
Shinoaki's art, adorned with text thought up by Tsurayuki, and N@NA-san's song
should have been playing in the store.
When I thought that, a feeling as if my
heart was being crushed suddenly came over me.
What had been a dream world until I came
here came back as reality.
"...I can't go back anymore."
The past never returns. Reality moves
forward.
What have I left behind? I just continued a
meaningless fight, and in the end, nothing was left, was it? I managed to find
my next place, trying to look cool, but am I just going to repeat something
pointless again? Such thoughts were running through my mind.
As I stood there dejectedly, a group of
three men passed by.
"This month, what are you
pre-ordering?"
I immediately knew they were talking about
bishoujo games. As a user, I used to look forward to the monthly pre-orders,
and when I was at the maker, I would be elated or dejected by the numbers.
But now, I didn't want to hear the word
"pre-order" anymore. Because I had been shown nothing but reality for
so long, it was painful.
"You're gonna get a dud again, aren't
you?"
"Shut up, I actually enjoyed it, so it
wasn't a dud."
Apparently, the other two were teasing
someone who had once pre-ordered a shitty game. Well, it's a common sight.
"The title was pretty 'that,' after
all."
"And the maker, they should have
realized when they decided on that."
"What was it, that one... you
remember, right?"
A and B, who were teasing, asked C, the one
who had pre-ordered it.
C reluctantly answered.
"It's 'Priketsu!', right? Don't make
me say it, the title is embarrassing."
Involuntarily.
(Huh...?)
I was about to let out a sound, and
hurriedly covered my mouth with my hand.
(What did you say...?)
There was no way I misheard. The one who
made that embarrassing title was...
"But hey, the programming on that was
terrible, but the scenario and direction, they really tried hard."
That was, the one who did that was.
"But didn't the maker go under? The
president ran off or something."
"Yeah, I wish the staff were making a
new game somewhere again."
The group of three walked off towards the
pre-order corner.
From the permanently installed monitor, the
opening movies of bishoujo games were playing on an endless loop.
I watched that footage, superimposing the
footage I once made. A movie that no one helped with, that no one would do,
that I had no choice but to make, and that no one reacted to.
The footage I was watching gradually
distorted and became a mess.
"It wasn't... for nothing...!"
Without caring about who was watching, I
cried.
I thought it had no value. In an industry
where everyone was shining so brightly, I thought no one would even glance at
what I had made. After joining Succeed, I had pushed it into the depths of my
heart as a grey history, thinking I never wanted to see it or remember it
again.
But, it reached someone. Only a very small
number, but it definitely did.
"Somewhere... a new work, huh?"
I felt as if the world in front of me had
instantly become so colorful it was unrecognizable.
"I can do it, a new work."
Why was I being so weak-willed? I myself
certainly have nothing, but if I have friends who will answer my call, and even
one user who is waiting for me.
The game can live on.
"Alright...!"
The paper bag that had been so heavy just a
moment ago felt very light. Not exactly dashingly... but along with the raised
paper bag, I puffed out my chest.
I spun around and was about to head back to
the station, at that moment.
"Huh?"
A very unexpected person had their hands on
their hips and was glaring at me with reproachful eyes.
"Kawase...gawa?"
To me, who was staring blankly, she handed
over a sturdy-looking cloth tote bag.
"Here, this. I brought it because a
paper bag might rip. You'll use it, right?"
"Ah, um, thanks."
For now, I transferred all the contents of
the paper bag into the tote bag. The handle of the paper bag was indeed already
about to tear. If I had continued to carry it like that, it might have suddenly
ripped and everything would have scattered.
"Wait, Kawasegawa, how did you know I
was here?"
If it were in front of Tamachi station,
maybe, but this is faraway Akihabara, and what's more, a so-called otaku shop.
"I followed you from the company all
the way here."
"What? You could have just said
something."
"Because you looked more dejected than
I've ever seen you... so I couldn't say anything, and just followed you for the
time being."
It's true that I was quite down until just
a moment ago. But the fact that she couldn't bring herself to call out to me
because of that, and that she just followed me for the time being, is very...
Kawasegawa-like.
"...By any chance, did you see me just
now, too?"
Kawasegawa turned her face away as if it
were hard to say.
"I don't know what happened, but you
should stop crying suddenly in public."
So she did see me!
While suppressing my embarrassment, I tried
holding the repacked tote bag for now. It was better than before, but it was
still quite heavy.
"You know, sorry to have you bring
this all the way, but maybe it's better to have this sent by courier or
something..."
Kawasegawa, as if it were the most natural
thing in the world, took one of the bag's handles.
"See, now it's half the weight. We're
heading in the same direction, so let's go."
"Ah, y-yes."
True, this makes it easier to carry, but.
"Uh, but Kawasegawa, you're not
exactly the type with a lot of stami—"
The moment I said it, Kawasegawa grimaced
as she held the bag.
"How could you even think of trying to
carry something this heavy home!"
"That's what I was just telling
you!!"
For now, we decided to walk to the station.
Since Kawasegawa can't walk fast, it's at a leisurely pace.
"...Hey."
"What is it?"
Since not talking at all is unnatural, I
decide to strike up a conversation.
But right now, there were many things that
were a bit difficult to talk about.
"Um... I'm sorry for suddenly saying
I'm quitting the company."
I hadn't told Kawasegawa beforehand what I
was going to say on the livestream. I had barely told Sakurai-san about the
Grape matter, that was about it.
So I was sure I would be scolded, but.
"You've got to be kidding me!!"
As expected, or rather naturally, her anger
exploded.
"Things like the handover and the next
job, at a time when it's already tough with Kuroda gone, you say you're
quitting because you want to make games, and what's more, you announce it on
the company's official Nico Nama stream, there's a limit to how selfish you can
be!!"
"Eek, I'm sorry!!"
Well, her point was extremely valid.
The livestream itself was very
well-received, but around the time the excitement cooled down, I started
getting picked on with comments like "Don't privatize the official
stream" or "I didn't get it."
In the end, there was someone who reasoned
that it must have been for the purpose of promoting Project Grape, and I
decided to go along with that. In reality, I hadn't calculated that far ahead;
it was just the result of acting as I pleased.
"Well, fine. I imagine you'll be
called to the company for a while, so make sure you go."
"Yes, I'll properly handle things
until the post-processing is done..."
In the strong afternoon sun, the sight of
the two of us walking with a tote bag hanging between us must look quite
strange.
(It's like we're carrying a child in the
middle... no, what am I saying?)
I was about to step on a landmine I didn't
need to.
"Hey, that project, how far along is
it?"
Suddenly, Kawasegawa asked.
"Not at all yet. Even with the three
Platinum members, it's not decided where or how they'll work, and for that
matter, my position isn't even decided."
But it needed to be decided quickly.
In the first place, that project is still
treated as a "reservation slot" within Grape, and the budget hasn't
been approved yet. I have to create a proposal and then formally submit an
application.
"But well, I'll work on it bit by bit.
I'll probably have more time, too."
"I-I see..."
I just answered normally, but Kawasegawa's
words were strangely hesitant.
"Um, just in case, I want to
ask."
"Hm? What is it?"
Kawasegawa, in a voice so small you'd miss
it if you weren't paying attention, said,
"Um... there's an experienced person
here who's been a producer and all for a long time, but would you... consider
hiring them?"
"........................Pardon??"
For a moment, I had no idea what she was
saying.
"So! A person named Kawasegawa Eiko is
going freelance! I'm asking if you'll try using me!"
"I-I get that, but... why?"
Kawasegawa stopped for a moment.
"I also, um, quit the company. I've
asked Kuroda to be my successor."
"Wh-whaaaaaaaaaaat!?"
To my utter surprise, Kawasegawa's face
turned red.
"So, I'm looking for a job. Just
consider it. I'll be useful."
"No, no, that's... um."
It was so much that my brain couldn't keep
up. In the first place, Kawasegawa was someone who earned a reasonably high
salary. However, with this project, I can only guarantee the bare minimum.
"So, it'll be tough, probably... I
think we'll barely be able to cover rent and food. I don't think you can
maintain your current lifestyle."
When I told her the honest truth, for some
reason, she stared intently at my face.
"If it's one person, yes. But if it's
two, we should be able to live."
"Uh, what do you mean by—"
As I was about to ask, and Kawasegawa's
face turned redder than I'd ever seen it, I finally realized what she was
saying.
"Hashiba. Do you......... hate
me?"
In a way, it was a very her-like way of
asking, I thought. Given her personality, just saying those words must have
been a huge decision.
I, too, with all the sincerity I could
muster, opened my mouth.
"No, I love you. Ever since we first
met in Shinjuku, always."
I still don't know what kind of fate it
was.
Someone who gives her all to everything,
who pushes herself to the very limit. Someone who's actually a crybaby but
always holds back her tears. Someone who sometimes acts aloof, but actually
loves people very much.
I had loved that side of her for a very
long time.
"...I see."
Kawasegawa listened to my words and, with a
gentle face...
"Then you should have confessed
sooner!! Why did you keep me waiting this long!!"
"Wah, I'm sorry!!"
I got scolded big time.
"So, with that, I'm going straight to
your house today."
"What? Today, just like that?"
"That's right. We need to check if two
people can live there, and if not, we'll have to think about moving. Looking at
the rent prices, we might even go as far as Sagamiono or Machida."
Seeing Kawasegawa muttering about utility
bills and moving out of her old place, I figured there wouldn't be any of that
fresh, new-couple-like feeling.
(Or rather, that just now was a confession,
right?)
It feels like a share house founded on
mutual affection.
Time passed while we were doing that. If we
don't get on the train soon, it'll be noon and the train will get crowded.
"Kawasegawa, if we don't hurry soon,
the trai—"
It was at that moment.
A sudden gust of wind blew, hitting the
open part of the tote bag directly.
"Whoa!"
Perhaps because I was holding it slightly
open, several of the rough sketches packed inside were caught by the wind and
flew out.
"K-Kawasegawa, it's your first task,
but help me gather the roughs!"
"Honestly! You're so strangely
careless about things like that!"
With the wind making it hard to hear each
other, she and I gathered the roughs that had flown away. By chance, it was
that rough sketch that Shinoaki had drawn and loved.
(I see, so this child... never made it out
into the world either.)
I caught it in mid-air and, this time, put
it properly into the tote bag.
"Next time, I definitely won't let it
go to waste."
To the magical girl who was never born into
this world.
Dreaming of a future that might have been.
Once more, I found myself venturing into a new realm of creativity.
